Interview with Gary Ziroli of Mr. Cancelled

Below is our interview with Gary Ziroli in which he proves he’s funnier than we are.  Which is not fair!  He knew the interview was happening.

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Times Boredom (TB): There’s no lyrics on your bandcamp page.

Gary Ziroli (Z). No. Please feel free to add some!

TB: Your bandcamp page is confusing cause it’s through super dark records. How tall are you?

Z. Average.

TB: Do you always sing lead?

Z. Yes. Go figure!

TB: A lot of people have been saying that Bernie’s really got a chance this time around. Have you ever tried to make a scone?

Z. Tried a scone as president? At this point, SURE!

TB: I wanted to call you pop punk, lo-fi, or indie rock, but your facebook site says you’re ‘old guy post punk’. How old were you when you realized you could rock?

Z. I’m still waiting.

TB: People have said that your band is a gateway drug to the super dark collective and everything they do. Why are you trying to push their super dark fudgey recipe on America?

Z. Anything/anyone dark scares America.

TB: What do you have to gain? do you get free brownies?

Z. No. Free Cub Scouts! (It’s a fucking joke!)

TB: I really like the photos you post on facebook and I’m not afraid if everyone knows that. Do you know Che Guevara T-shirt? I don’t like them.

Z. Who does?

TB: keith’s a really bad frontperson. don’t you think kat celentano (bass player that’s also in hill haints) should be in the front?

Z. Absolutely! I’m serious!

TB: Who are some other local bands you hate?

Z. Kingsteen!

TB: Kurt Vile sucks.

Z. Yes!

TB: Courtney Barnett also sucks.

Z. Yes! (Who?)

TB: I used to make red pepper and gouda cheese sandwiches for lunch. It’s vegetarian and sorta healthy and quick, but it got really old really fast and I’m sick of it. Now I need something else that’s cheap and i don’t have to heat up. Suggestions?

Z. I got sick and really old!

TB: I heard that you live in a super dark collective house with like Chris and Jon from your band and also Shane and John and Sarah and a whole bunch of local punks. Who’s your favorite bass player of all times?

Z. The Bass is the four string one, right?

TB: Why isn’t it Geddy Lee?

Z. He isn’t?

TB: So you hate Canadians.

Z. Eh?

TB: Are you gonna buy a Times Boredom t-shirt when we finally make them?

Z. Yes, but I’ll make sure I get the wrong size so I never wear it.

TB: What’s taking us so long?

Z.

TB: Serious questions: how long does it take you to write a song? Do you write all or most of the melodies? Are you gonna quit your band to form a supergroup with me? Why won’t you join Fucking Christ, my witchdoom band?

Z. I will eventually quit everything!

TB: Your drummer Jon is sexy.

Z. So he continues to say.

TB: Chris has a big moustache.

Z. Well, you know what they say…!

TB: You wanna get high?

Z. I’m high on life and positive vibes! Just kidding! Life is pointless.

TB: Ok but do you wanna get high with me?

Z. I don’t even get high with ME!

TB: What do you think of our review of your new album before you read it?

Z. It was the Citizen Kane of reviews. That’s stupid. Citizen Kane was not a review!

TB: How about after you read it?

Z. My life is a joke…and not a good one.

TB: What’s in the future? Not for you or your band, but like, in general… when are we gonna get jetpacks and flying cars?

Z. Most likely there will be a lot of soup and bread lines. Gluten free, of course!

TB: It’s been a delight to write these questions. I’m really good and professional guy at interviewing. What’s your favorite Sebadoh record?

Z. Destroyer

TB: I met Jason Lowenstein and he said I was cool.

Z. I just Googled him. He said I was cooler!

An interview with Andrew Wilson of Comrade Nixon

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Times Boredom:
Ok. Begin record.
Your band Comrade Nixon’s brand of indigent hardcore punk is too fast. Why won’t you slow down?

Andrew Wilson:
Well, for starters, I never set out to sound hardcore at all. I first envisioned my band as an acid rock hippie band that would travel the frozen north in covered wagons exclusively, making us more akin to gypsies. That’s not really hardcore per se. As for the speed of my songs, i guess it has to do with me being high strung. I get accused of being speed metal on occasion, although I don’t even listen to speed metal or am I interested in that particular genre.

TB:
Interesting you mention speed, since your songs are notoriously 3 minutes or less, and are about 1 minute when you play them live. Do you think wizards are cool?

AW:
Wizards? I like Jimmy page. Is he a wizard?

TB:
No. He’s a satanist.

AW:
Funny you mention Satan. I’m reading a book of Crowleys poetry at the moment.
I’m not really into wizards, sadly. I’m a political junky and like to be grounded in reality. Fantasy is for dorks. I do read a substantial amount of William Seward Burroughs, which is quite the opposite of wizardry I fink.

TB:
Not even dragons? Dragons are fuckin sweet dude.

AW:
Do you know about Wyrms?

TB:
no. are they like really cool dragons?

AW:
Lord of the rings. More like bored of the rings! It’s a dragon before it sprouts wings and breathes fire

TB:
so like just a lizard. lame

AW:
Kinda

TB:
Your second album, Wine and Circuses, was recorded with Don Fury. Is he cool?

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AW:
Don fury breathes fire!
He’s quite a relaxed guy. And his studio rates are low.
Don can jibber jabber about the late seventies for days!
He knew Richard Hell. That’s cool!

TB:
I did not. I did meet one of the guys from Sebadoh once.

AW:
Who Lou?

TB:
No Jason. Lou can suck it.

AW:
Hahaha!!! You don’t like Dino Jr.?

TB:
Course I do. That’s why I think Lou can suck it. J. too!

AW:
I like the first two albums. Then they started writing the same song for thirty years

TB:
I have a personal bone to pick with you.

AW:
What?

TB:
I have repeatedly asked you to make me an XXL t-shirt but you still only have large at the largest. It’s not fair because I’m a HUGE Comrade Nixon fan. wtf?

AW:
You can always make your own bootleg shirt with my face on it. Thanks for your support! I’m not opposed to bootlegging. I think my great great grandpa was a bootlegger

TB:
Mine was too fat.
I am going to draw your face in magic marker on my shirt and write ‘Comrade Nixon T-Shirt’ above it and ‘AW: said I could make this t-Shirt’ below

So what’s going on with your drummer situation? Legend has it ‘antwon’ was none other than north country legend matt hall. Did he quit? Is north country legend Sam officially your new drummer?

AW:
Sam is in. And we just finished recording our new hit album ‘odd Todd’ due out in January of twenty eighteen.
Matt hall joined a new age electronic band

TB:
Yeah I heard he’s in the War on Drugs now…

AW:
Oh god not them!
I think I listened to .05 seconds of a Kurt vile song
It was quite trite!

TB:
How come Kurt Vile is so popular when he sucks so much yet Comrade Nixon isn’t world famous when you rule?

AW:
People like the taste of poop in their collectives mouthes.

TB:
Speaking of the taste of poop, why is Times Boredom your favorite site on the internets?

AW:
Y’all speak the troof!
And you offered to adopt my ass.

TB:
We filed the papers and everything

AW:
I come From a loving family but the offer was much appreciated! Cheers!

TB:
Pisser.

Since 2014, you’ve released 3 studio albums and 3 live albums. That’s too many in such a short period of time.

AW:
Wait till you hear ‘Cucamonga Peep show Live’ coming this spring!

TB:
You’re doing it again! We need time to digest so much awesome.

AW:
I’ve had a lot of near death experiences. So I’m trying to put out everything before my cards are up

TB:
Makes sense. For the past 3 years, you’ve been playing, recording, and touring pretty much non-stop. How many beers would you say you’ve drank in that time? Please estimate to within one beer.

AW:
Nothing but Schlitz! mind you!
Probably a bus load of schlitz

TB:
That’s not a number. We need hard statistics here. We’re a reputable publication. I suppose we can get someone in our research dept to calculate exactly how much a busload of schlitz is.(Chris can you get me those figures?)

AW:
We’ve seen more ass than at the beach and drink more beer than Stacy Keech.

TB:
i don’t know who stacy keech is but sounds like a party

AW:
He’s the guy that smoked Chongs weed and turned into a lizard

TB:
Another wyrm huh?
being that you like to party so much, why would you say a painfully harsh doom band like Fucking Christ is your favorite band ever?

AW:
Every show our goal is to move the masses and smoke spiritual grasses
Fucking Christ was good when they were the party band, the horny Hindus. After that they got boring quick

TB:
True dat

AW:
First saw em play with Long Richard, tupper lake NY
In upper tupper lake

TB:
That was a while back. Though I saw em back when they were from Sweden.

AW:
That was Bout a decade ago
My memory is hazy

TB:
Legend has it they pre-date Black Sabbath

AW:
Sabbath number four is a beast

TB:
When does Comrade Nixon plan to return its whirlwind tour back to the Capital District?
Will you play my basement?

AW:
I’ll play yer fucking basement sure! Early tour in January!
River street pub on the eleventh. I’m playing a most sacred acoustic set.

TB:
Is that a
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show?

AW:
Oui

TB:
sweet
i would play one of those shows but Shane says Fucking Christ is too dark

AW:
Hahaha
Zing!
Y’all should play some monkeys songs

TB:
Anyway, thanks for sitting down with us on the internet and saying some funny stuff. We reserve the right to change anything you said to make ourselves sound funnier and make it sound like you were threatening us physically. Promise us you’ll keep up your whirlwind of rockin and recording and touring until your next near death experience at least?

AW:
I almost died the other day! Thanks for having me! God shave the queen!
No future!

TB:
Anarchy or the highway!

AW:
Anger is an energy!
May the road rise with you!

TB:
Thanks again. Later dude!

AW:
The check is in the mail right?

TB:
Um, yeah…

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An interview with E.S. Cormac from Hill Haints

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We recently sat down on the internet with badass guitarist and singer for totally sweet local band Hill Haints.  Turns out he’s not a total dickhead like most rockstars and he’s funnier than we are…

TB:
ok. begin record.

Republicans are currently gathering on the Hill to discuss the proposition of deep cuts to social benefits. Naturally, this raises questions on the eve of Paul Ryan’s pending retirement announcement.

So you play guitar?

E.S.: 
Yes. But it’s foreign, and not responsible for the current crisis in US Government.

TB:
So you say. We’ll look into that because we’re serious journalists.

Your latest release on bandcamp is intended to benefit trans rights. I understand that all proceeds from sales go to the Trangender Law Center. Do you like omelettes?

E.S.: 

Yes. We released that as part of a day of action. Transgender rights are very important to us, and for some in the band an issue from which they cannot be
separated.

Ohmlettes are good

TB: 
That is indeed laudable in this writer’s opinion.

Do you prefer your omelettes to be a little runny or browned?

E.S.:
Slightly browned, thin not a fluffy abomination…no offense.

TB:
None taken. I’m with you.

Some influences cited for your band’s sound include the Stooges and Sonic Youth.
Do you think Thurston’s a huge dickhole?

E.S.:
I’m on team Kim, but Thurston has always been the most accessible member of the band and participates in the noise rock community, even making appearances in
Albany. I appreciate that. Not many “rock stars” will play $5 basement shows.

TB:
Speaking of Kim, did you read her book? I thought it was really bad.

E.S.:
No. I did not read it.

TB:
Don’t. It sucks.

E.S.:
Haha I hate musician autobiographies

TB:
Even Johnny Cash’s? I gotta say my all time favorite book is Cash by Johnny Cash.

E.S.:
Ok. I’ll read it.

TB:
Sweet.

Speaking of the Stooges, Iggy Pop looks like he’s two hundred years old but he
keeps taking all his clothes off. It really grosses me out.

I guess that’s not a question.

E.S.:
Haha. He’s so leathery.

TB:
I don’t think he’s human anymore if he ever was. I mean the guy outlived Bowie.
How is that even possible? Ok we’re getting off my very important list of topics…

What’s your favorite local band?

E.S.:
There are a lot of really good ones, as compared to times in the past. But,
Eternal Crimes are my favourite. I saw them about 4 years ago, and decided to start Hill Haints.

TB:
Good answer.

But you know every other local band will hate you now for not saying them.
Especially my band Fucking Christ. Why do you think Fucking Christ is so great yet so underappreciated?

E.S.:
There is a band called Fucking Christ? Che Guevara T-Shirt is great.

TB:
Fucking Christ is great and they will blow Che Guevara T-Shirt out of the puddle
they’re in! We stole the drummer from Che Guevara T-Shirt and the drummer from Moon Worship. And we have a young hot front woman that screams witch doom. We rule. But enough about how great Fucking Christ is because everyone already knows it…

You’ve repeatedly proclaimed your unabashed love of the Times Boredom site and said you read it every day even though posts go up randomly like, once every six months. Why is Times Boredom so great and its writers so brilliant?

E.S.: 
It’s a local version of the Hard Times, but actually reviews shows. The review ofthe guy from Pussy Galore was hilarious and spot on.

TB: 
Thanks. That guy pissed us off. Especially since we did love Pussy Galore and
Royal Trux so much.

E.S.:
That was a horrible show. I loved Pussy Galore

TB: 
Me too. I would pay so much money for a copy of the tape of them covering Exile on Main Street. I mean, I don’t know what I’d do to get a copy of that… let’s just say I’m willing to break several laws and moral codes.

So, honestly E.S. (can I call you E.S?) – you are in probably the best local band in the area, you play all the time, and you go to and support the local scene like pretty much no one else, yet you’re also always a cool guy. You never have a bad word to say about anyone, even shitty bands like Che Guevara T-Shirt who totally suck and are obviously just trying to make so much crappy noise everybody gets pissed off and leaves. What drugs are you on and where can I get some?

E.S.:
I stopped doing drugs since I found Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

TB:
Where was he?

E.S.:
On the corner of N.Pearl and Madison. Asked me for 50¢ so he could get back to Schenectady

TB:
Makes sense.

Ok last question, and this one’s totally serious. Seriously. What do you think of the state of the capital district rock music scene?

E.S.:
It’s the best it has been in years. Seriously. I hope everyone playing now realizes how lucky we all are.This isn’t going to last forever.

TB:
Thank you for speaking with us. We reserve the right to alter your answers to make ourselves look cool and make you look like a dick if someone pays us either way, but we probably won’t cause we’re really lazy and no one pays us. Any final
thoughts on why Kurt Vile is ruining rock music for generations to come?

E.S.:
Kurt Vile… (naseuous face emoticon).

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