We recently sat down on the internet with badass guitarist and singer for totally sweet local band Hill Haints.  Turns out he’s not a total dickhead like most rockstars and he’s funnier than we are…

TB:
ok. begin record.

Republicans are currently gathering on the Hill to discuss the proposition of deep cuts to social benefits. Naturally, this raises questions on the eve of Paul Ryan’s pending retirement announcement.

So you play guitar?

E.S.: 
Yes. But it’s foreign, and not responsible for the current crisis in US Government.

TB:
So you say. We’ll look into that because we’re serious journalists.

Your latest release on bandcamp is intended to benefit trans rights. I understand that all proceeds from sales go to the Trangender Law Center. Do you like omelettes?

E.S.: 

Yes. We released that as part of a day of action. Transgender rights are very important to us, and for some in the band an issue from which they cannot be
separated.

Ohmlettes are good

TB: 
That is indeed laudable in this writer’s opinion.

Do you prefer your omelettes to be a little runny or browned?

E.S.:
Slightly browned, thin not a fluffy abomination…no offense.

TB:
None taken. I’m with you.

Some influences cited for your band’s sound include the Stooges and Sonic Youth.
Do you think Thurston’s a huge dickhole?

E.S.:
I’m on team Kim, but Thurston has always been the most accessible member of the band and participates in the noise rock community, even making appearances in
Albany. I appreciate that. Not many “rock stars” will play $5 basement shows.

TB:
Speaking of Kim, did you read her book? I thought it was really bad.

E.S.:
No. I did not read it.

TB:
Don’t. It sucks.

E.S.:
Haha I hate musician autobiographies

TB:
Even Johnny Cash’s? I gotta say my all time favorite book is Cash by Johnny Cash.

E.S.:
Ok. I’ll read it.

TB:
Sweet.

Speaking of the Stooges, Iggy Pop looks like he’s two hundred years old but he
keeps taking all his clothes off. It really grosses me out.

I guess that’s not a question.

E.S.:
Haha. He’s so leathery.

TB:
I don’t think he’s human anymore if he ever was. I mean the guy outlived Bowie.
How is that even possible? Ok we’re getting off my very important list of topics…

What’s your favorite local band?

E.S.:
There are a lot of really good ones, as compared to times in the past. But,
Eternal Crimes are my favourite. I saw them about 4 years ago, and decided to start Hill Haints.

TB:
Good answer.

But you know every other local band will hate you now for not saying them.
Especially my band Fucking Christ. Why do you think Fucking Christ is so great yet so underappreciated?

E.S.:
There is a band called Fucking Christ? Che Guevara T-Shirt is great.

TB:
Fucking Christ is great and they will blow Che Guevara T-Shirt out of the puddle
they’re in! We stole the drummer from Che Guevara T-Shirt and the drummer from Moon Worship. And we have a young hot front woman that screams witch doom. We rule. But enough about how great Fucking Christ is because everyone already knows it…

You’ve repeatedly proclaimed your unabashed love of the Times Boredom site and said you read it every day even though posts go up randomly like, once every six months. Why is Times Boredom so great and its writers so brilliant?

E.S.: 
It’s a local version of the Hard Times, but actually reviews shows. The review ofthe guy from Pussy Galore was hilarious and spot on.

TB: 
Thanks. That guy pissed us off. Especially since we did love Pussy Galore and
Royal Trux so much.

E.S.:
That was a horrible show. I loved Pussy Galore

TB: 
Me too. I would pay so much money for a copy of the tape of them covering Exile on Main Street. I mean, I don’t know what I’d do to get a copy of that… let’s just say I’m willing to break several laws and moral codes.

So, honestly E.S. (can I call you E.S?) – you are in probably the best local band in the area, you play all the time, and you go to and support the local scene like pretty much no one else, yet you’re also always a cool guy. You never have a bad word to say about anyone, even shitty bands like Che Guevara T-Shirt who totally suck and are obviously just trying to make so much crappy noise everybody gets pissed off and leaves. What drugs are you on and where can I get some?

E.S.:
I stopped doing drugs since I found Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

TB:
Where was he?

E.S.:
On the corner of N.Pearl and Madison. Asked me for 50¢ so he could get back to Schenectady

TB:
Makes sense.

Ok last question, and this one’s totally serious. Seriously. What do you think of the state of the capital district rock music scene?

E.S.:
It’s the best it has been in years. Seriously. I hope everyone playing now realizes how lucky we all are.This isn’t going to last forever.

TB:
Thank you for speaking with us. We reserve the right to alter your answers to make ourselves look cool and make you look like a dick if someone pays us either way, but we probably won’t cause we’re really lazy and no one pays us. Any final
thoughts on why Kurt Vile is ruining rock music for generations to come?

E.S.:
Kurt Vile… (naseuous face emoticon).