Wearing a cape, aviators, and a mystic Brevator t-shirt that contained the ancient runes that read ‘Albany boys do it best!’, Drew Benton of Haunted Cat cast a spell to resurrect the dead to attend his new band’s show Saturday.
“Harken to me you super cool zombies Everything will be alright
Return from the deadly Brevator riots
And we’ll rock out
One more night!”
The spell worked, however, the results were not as expected.
“I tried to warn Drew” says Brent Gorton, a master of resurrective zombie spells that has used them successfully on many a previous occasion for Better Pills and Tender Breasts shows. “These scenester zombies ain’t what they used to be. They may shuffle in, but getting them to rock out is near impossible.”
Indeed, instead of crowding the stage and moshing as in days of yore, most of the scenester zombies spent the show gnawing on each other’s brains, talking about the good old days before they became undead, and discussing current tv shows.
A few illustrative zombie scenester comments were overheard:
“Need get home before midnight. Feed little brains.”
“Brraaaaiinnsss…. argh, how are your little brains, zombie Travis?”
“Urrrgghhh… live with in sleepy undead part Delmar now. Play awesome Complicated shirt cd for brains sometimes.”
There were, however, also some unexpectedly spectacular results of the spell. Legendary Brevator guitarist Jason Jette showed up and jammed with Haunted Cat. And this frightened reporter swears that screaming Banshee Brevator frontman Joey Russo was summoned and lurked amongst the living dead as well that night!