FUCKING EVER. NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN THIS FUNNY!  FUCKING SRSLY!

Ok well maybe in the heyday of funny fun punk rock like the Descendants when they were on SST but BEFORE FAT WRECK-CHORDS! BEFORE FAT WRECK-CHORDS! That shit took it TOO FAR and it just wasn’t funny after a while and then it’s in the Base-Ket-Ball movie with the South Park guys and stripping cheerleaders and probably Blink 182 is involved and HOW THE FUCK DID WE GET HERE? Ok well some of that was funny and yeah that movie was fuckin funny but in general it’s just that, well, is it art?

GIRTH CONTROL HAS THE ANSWER:

“WE’RE NOT IN IT FOR THE ART!

WE’RE IN IT FOR THE FUN!

WE’RE IN IT TO GET DRUNK!

AND SING SONGS SHORT AND FAST AND DUMB!“

Albany hasn’t had a really genuinely funny punk rock/ska band around here in some time, and Girth Control is filling the hole so much (SO FUCKING MUCH WITH SO MUCH FUCKING GIRTH!) that legendary scenesters like Sarah Winner and Ralph Renna (who they wrote a song about to thank) have taken notice and are behind them hundred percent brah!

SO GO SEE THEM TONIGHT AT THE LOW BEAT AND LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF! OR WE WILL FUCKING KILL YOUR CATS WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE READING THIS BECAUSE WE CAN SEE YOUR IP IF YOU DONT GO TO THE SHOW WE WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOUR CATS FOR NOT SEEING THE FUNNIEST BAND EVER AND THEN YOU MOTHERFUCKERS BETTER WATCH OUT WE MEAN IT!! SRSLY!!!

Ok if you go to their bandcamp page and download their newest funniest fuckin record ever Shorter Faster Dumber we’ll let you slide this time but we better see YOUR FUCKIN PICTURE UP THERE SUPPORTIN THEM IT’S ONLY LIKE $5 YOU CHEAP BASTARDS OR YOUR CAT’S DEAD YOU FUCKIN HEAR ME?  NOT NOT DEAD DEAD NOT DEAD FUCKING! DEAD! CAT! IN! BOX!

Quantum phyics proof dooders.  Funniest band ever.