Well it’s finally here, the issue everyone’s been waiting for! Our worst of list for 2015! No wait, we missed a few years … 2017! (and yeah we’re later then tax day, but fuck you it’s our site and we’ll write whatever dumb shit we want whenever we want and there’s nothing you can do about it go complain to a ‘legitimate’ publication if you don’t like it)
Please be advised that this list isn’t personal at all. All entries were based entirely on voting by the Times Boredom community as a whole and every vote was counted equally. All comments and reasons are based on merits and talents of bands and nothing else. (All hotlinks (click on the colored band names dummy!) are to bandcamp pages so you can judge for your damn self; I’m gettin real sick of music sites that don’t give you a way to actually hear the music but just fuckin dance about architecture instead — and yeah I spent more than 10 minutes with all the links and pictures and whatnot on this article so fucking read the whole thing not just the part about your favorite shitty band this time!).
Finally, if your band wasn’t mentioned here I guess you just didn’t suck enough last year. Wanna fight about it? E-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
10. Asa Morris and the Mess — motherfucking lead singer moved to Florida. Florida! RIP.
9. No More Death Stars — I wrote a bunch of blurbs for the flyer for their show and I didn’t even get in for free nor get a free beer.
8. Haunted Cat — they keep teasing us with tracks from their album, and they won’t release physical copies until their show in May! And considering they boast being alumni of Complicated Shirt, John Rifle, Tuff, Sesame Plexer, and the Tender Breasts, you know this shit gonna be outta site. I’m sick of waiting.
7. Che Guevara T-Shirt — the lead singer is a cranky, fat, bald asshole and their new album only sold 6 copies (which is their best selling album ever) — despite the fact that half the band died in the making of it (the cover is a picture of one of the dead ones!) Losers.
6. Sun Natives — still too fuckin cool.
5. Dryer — 25 years old and still rockin steady regardless of every setback and hurdle that’s come their way. I wanna be them when I grow up. Or Brent Gorton. But he’d probably be pissed if I mentioned him (like the time he kicked J. Eric Smith from Metroland’s ass cause he didn’t like what he said about him and that guy was a fuckin Marine or something) so I’m gonna stay away from that powder keg. I mean… um, yeah! Dryer!
4. Comrade Nixon — not even local! Yet they keep invading the capital district and blowing everyone away. And the lead guy was interviewed in a really important publication so lots of people will read this list if they’re mentioned. Damned immigrants. Next time I see them I’m gonna buy them a beer.
3. Candy Ambulance — Caitlyn won’t give me her phone number. Well ok, also they’re always on tour and hardly play locally anymore. So it’s more difficult to keep bugging Caitlyn to give me her phone number. We miss you…
2. Moon Worship — I’m scared of these guys. I shouldn’t put them on this list. Now I’m scared of what I done. Please don’t flay me Moon Worship? Go see or listen to them at your own peril and doom…
1. Hill Haints — not fair. Always great live, recently put out a fantastic new ep, totally nice guys, seems there’s nothing not awesome about this band. What’s their angle? Nobody’s this good and this cool without an ulterior motive. Times Boredom is on to the Hill Haints!