Y’all don’t know shit about shit! So before the great and wise ancient scenester MC Think Noise here tells you about the greatest bar and venue that ever was or shall be, a little history lesson for you ungrateful ahistorical pretentious hipster twerps! i was once like you… hey shutup you in the back! You think I can’t hear you?! I know what you’re saying and YOU. DON’T. KNOW. SHIT. So listen up!
Now as a hardcore lefter than left of left Marxist, anti-Capitalist, anti-advertisement and anti-Fun self loathing petty-bourgeouis schpieler, I was flat out opposed to making this announcement. However;
- I was told the name of the venue was gonna be ‘No Fun’. Course I’m an Iggy acolyte from way back in the day, I myself named the ‘No New York’ no wave comp, and am immune to irony in all its forms yet can appreciate it smarter than any of any of you!
- They offered me free admission to all
And the final clincher for this old dog, a free sixer of my favorite, Nine Pin Cider from my current favorite Lark Street haunt Pint Sized. A couple of cans in and I didn’t even care when I remembered all the god damned super dark shows are free! To me and everyone else!
Seriously though. This is the coolest fucking news/surprise/secret I’ve ever been savvy too before any a you pricks! Now hand me another cider, and I’ll tell you about the coming of the ultimate bar/craft beer & cider/show space/diy art venue in downtown Troy; NO FUN!!!!!
So let me start off by saying a few words about the hero of the new place, Sir August Rosa:
And if you don’t fuckin know what ‘Dayenu’ means, shit son, what are they teaching you in that dumbshit school you got goin to? That’s from the Bible son! And I didn’t even go to college and highschool too! And look where it got me! Shit I lost my place. Where was I?
Oh yeah,….
And now, when you think he can give the Capital District no more cool shit, he gives us “too much too soon” and asks too little (that was a Buster Poindexter reference if you didn’t know ya little ignoranimus that dunnit know shit… who’s Buster Poindexeter? SEriously?!!! New York Dolls frontman Buster.. ah forget it) Now where was I?
A new venue for Pint Sized in downtown Troy at 277 River Street where he’ll be bringing all the great craft brews to Troy where you can drink them in the bar or just pick up a growler or a case to enjoy at home. And a brand new awesome diy/performance and art space at 275 River Street right where it’s needed most, where all of us scene geeks and freaks, hipsters and art snobs, craft beer enthusiasts, and pretentious neck beard types can call our second home, called ‘No Fun’!
Most importantly, he’s partnering up with the likes of the super dudes from the Superdark collective; Shane Sanchez for his excellence in booking and promotions, and John Olander to build the coolest fucking sound system EVER while keeping it low key with a good sized stage and weird crazy art and media to decorate the coolest fucking hangpad EVER to make what we’re all expecting to be the best fucking club in downtown Troy or ANYWHERE EVER!!!!
August, who already owns and operates 2 cool as that fucking cider I done already finished cause I’m a no-good old drunk that feels too damned much nostalgia for the old days that were so fucking great that there’s no way the future can possibly compete unless it’s in the heart of downtown Troy and run by 3 of the coolest people around… shit I forgot where I was going with this…
Anyway, August told me personally that “People have always asked why we haven’t done a project in Troy. I’ve always wanted to bring Pint Sized to downtown and have looked at spaces on and around River Street as early as 2017. There is a lot going on in Troy and I never felt that a Pint Sized on its own would be enough with so many unique and innovative offerings to do in the area. The “No Fun” event space will be what really sets this project apart. I absolutely see a need for dedicated performance space in downtown. We look forward to being a part of Troy’s downtown scene.”
And you KNOW your ole dog Think Noise couldn’t agree more. As a longtime Troy scenester, I’ve seen plenty of awesome venues come and go. My favorite by far was 51 3rd Street (a venue that most of y’all are too young to have witnessed the awesome powers and influence of), a real cool and weird square hole in the wall pad where RPI professors, students, and scenesters from around the Capital District could go to see great local shit like Denim and Diamonds, Complicated Shirt and Struction as well as national up and coming experimental performing acts like Fat Worm of Error, Dan Deacon, noise music royalty like Emil Beaulieu, and so many other great things I could list off that we’d be here all night… And then of course there was the likes of Artie’s many venues the last one that evenutally became the River Street Pub run by Vince Pellicano where the Super dark boys found their original home base in Troy. And then of course there were the legendary clubs and concert venues like the Hudson Duster, EmPAc, Revolution Hall and so many other cool and not so cool places to see shows that shut down or were the wrong place or size for the hip experimental noise and indie rock art house performances that Troy is famous for or the fantastic outdoor shows at Rare Form that for the past year have given us a way to see so many great superdark shows even in the midst of the Covid pandemic…
But all that don’t mean shit, now that the setup, location, dedication, and fuckin yeah fucker spirits of everyone that’s gonna be working on the new Pint Sized location and ‘No Fun’ diy performance and art venue promises the beginning of a whole new era, a new paradigm, are you pickin up what Think Noise is puttin down?! If only they’d hire yours truly to be the house MC, they’d have it all!
And your ole pal and drinking buddy gone dry and back again cannot fucking wait until the doors open and we rush in! To the end of quarantining and watching home performances of all my favorite local bands and performers and the beginning of a brand new era of endless craft brews, original live bands, and a public space where everyones welcome to hang out bear witness and be inspired and share in the nirvana in Troy of music, art, and every great collaborative thing in the Capital District but also those geniuses that do all that AND make it all possible like August Rosa, Shane Sanchez and John Olander.
Do you remember Valentines? Upstate Artists Guild? Miss Mary’s art space?! These is all gonna just be distant memories that will only serve as footnotes to the story of the greatest venue ever begotten, NO FUN! Theys gonna be a mass exodus from Williamsburg, Green Point, Long Island City and all those other super concentrated hipsterdoms like Cleveland before Lester Bangs ruined it straight to the River Street area in downtown Troy once the Pint Size/No fun club opens up. And we gonna live upstairs and downstairs and next door, camp out on the front porch all lit up with kerosene and molly on planet k inside the in crowd out in the cold listening to the free music blasting over the whole fucking block and blowing us over into the gutters and crawl back to our beds so we can sleep enough to come back and do it all over again…
Have you ever heard of CBGB’s? The Limelight? Lollapalooza? Woodstock?!!!! All just small steps building up to the coolest venue and greatest performances that ever were or shall be, NO FUN!!
And now that you know some shit about some shit go forth and spread the word! (and of course if you want me to explain the legend of Brevator and how they made Daughters cry b/c they’d surpassed them in every way and Daughters got back at them by sabotaging their recording so no one’d ever know how fucking great they were I’m always around… hit me up man… I’ll probably be outside No Fun soon as it opens in like November maybe or I’ll just be hanging around there anyway…
Yrs in rock y siempre, – MC THINK NOISE
Times Boredom 