Our buy suggestion of the week: Laveda

We only make strong buy recommendations when we feel confident enough to sink a large proportion of our own vast reserves into a group, production company, etc. Which is why we’ve suggested shares in Super Dark, Candy Ambulance, Architrave, etc. And, though this may not have been obvious, we advised you to short sell groups that made the top of our ‘best of the worst’ local bands list (i.e. top 2 bands from 2018 Hill Haints & Che Guevara T-Shirt, the whereabouts of both being completely unknown at this point and stocks having been unlisted).

Well this week we have our strongest buy rating yet on local Albany group Laveda. These sexy, skinny kids make a retro dreampop product so authentic we’re surprised it didn’t come from across the pond, produced by Kevin Shields himself. Furthermore, we’ve been assured by multiple sources that the retro-shoegaze movement in Williamsburg is still going strong and didn’t end with A Place to Bury Strangers all those years ago.

Since we’ve never steered you wrong before, we suggest you take our advice and buy a healthy chunk of Laveda (LVD NASDAQ).

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Just look at these photos, these kids could be 90’s Calvin Klein models! More importantly, go listen to their new album What Happens Next. You won’t be dissappointed.

10 Worst Local Bands of 2019!

Despite our negativity and cynicism, we must admit that 2019 was a banner year for original innovative music in the Capital District! So many great groups came to our attention, so many collaborations, so many disparate organizations (record labels, promoters, venues) working tirelessly to bring us all the good stuff we’ve come to find out about over the past couple of years as more and more original groups come to the forefront and receive the attention they deserve! So it’s no surprise then that our survey this year was extremely diverse; out of nearly 300 votes, over 120 groups were voted for! Which means only those that received the most votes from the most people got in. So if your band isn’t included, rest assured it’s likely that you were either mentioned or nearly made it. An insane list of everyone voted for is mentioned at the bottom for exploitative purposes. However, only a few lucky groups can be the best of the worst, so if you’re mentioned below, lots of people have seen and enjoyed your performances and/or records in 2019!

All links are to bandcamp sites because bandcamp is FUCKING AWESOME as far as we know; the Spotify of independent music with no ads ever. If you haven’t been there, visit every single one of these bands’ (and any other local band you like’s probably there) pages today! Oh how I wish we could be sponsored by Bandcamp.com

10. The Abyssmals

abyMaking their first appearance here on Times Boredom, we’ve long been fans of this campy 60s era sounding hip retro-rock and roll quintet from Schenectady. I mean, they’ve been making music and performing only since the 2010’s (far as we know), but if you heard them without knowing anything about them you’d be certain they were a hip underground L.A. garage band or British Invasion rockers from the 1960s. And given their traditional rock and roll vibes, surf guitar, and highly stylized vocals covered in reverb and delay, it’s obvious that’s the sound they’re going for. Husband and wife team Jarpon and Muffy Reyes makeup the most visible and essential part of this band, with all band members other than Muffy decked out in black leather and sunglasses. Muffy is a master of costumes and performance flair, almost in stark contrast to the cooler than cool stances of the rest of this rockin band.

9. Sky Furrows

sfThey’ve done it again. An incredibly innovative group that sounds pretty much like no other and has yet to play much outside of Saratoga Springs has made the top ten list of original local bands. This old school indie rock (think Pell Mell meets Minutemen… if you know who either of them are or SHIT ABOUT SHIT!) band is fronted by the Capital Region’s very own punk rock poetess Karen Schoemer. No melodies interfere with this frontwoman’s evocative sing-speak style that reminds one of Patti Smith and Kim Gordon, but whose poetry is far better and more interesting than either one (in our humble opinion). Off the cuff tales of all male bands debating the first woman to “force her way into SST records” are mixed into a stream of consciousness of magical descriptions of everyday mundane appearances with what appear to perhaps be the inner intruding thoughts of Schoemer. Unfortunately, there’s nothing funny about this band, hence we haven’t written an article yet despite our admiration. They’re just overwhelmingly impressive and original, increasingly making their mark in Saratoga Springs and hopefully soon venturing much further beyond…

8. Eternal Crimes

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Eternal Crimes has been a non-stop post-punk machine in Troy and around the Capital District for nearly a decade. In addition to most importantly reinventing themselves by changing their microgenre nomenclature, EC (as those in the know don’t ever call them) has been spreading their dark, bloody wings across the northeast and beyond over the past year to promote their new album Cryptically Acclaimed. And for those of you that have seen them live but never heard them on record, you must hear this album! Whereas live only some of their influences come through (because they’re always so fucking LOUD which to us = awesome but not everyone), this excellent new recording by bass player John Gill clarifies their sound and you can hear their genuine post-punk influences such as Suicide, Joy Division, the Misfits, Wire… just about any group that fits said overlooked, cryptically acclaimed genre. Eternal Crimes gets better every year they’re together, and there’s reason to believe 2019 is just the beginning!

7. William Hale

facebook_1580413410895So the name ‘William Hale’ is one of those confusing indie-rock type names that can refer to several things. For the most part, William Hale hails from Glens Falls (an increasingly important town in the Capital District scene giving us the Mess, No More Death Stars, Pencildive, etc), and is the nom de guerre of Lucas William Hale VanScoy (of the ‘Ravacon collective’) and his backing band. Many members of his band are regular fixtures in not only his but other popular Glens Falls groups (just like all the other groups we mentioned that keep trading players and driving us nuts keeping track!). Specifically notable players are upright bass player Jade Macduff and the omnipresent scenester Alicia Macier, who plays the unusual instruments of rock violin and sometimes even the accordion all over the Glens Falls scene. William and his crew of misfits have also done several shows as ‘William Hate’, a dark and violent character that syncs up well with his more recent, grittier look. He and his crew have also gone under other names, like the Ravacon collective and, um… to be honest we can’t quite sort it out — Lucas, if someone’s told you about this article and you’re not busy, send us an e-mail and we’ll do an interview to sort all this out. Our readers desperately want to understand what all these names and collectives represent!

6. Haley Moley

facebook_1580414769880Once again Ballston Spa’s Haley Moley have blanketed the Capital district in many performances and new songs that we’re told will soon be released as a new album. Their members have also been involved in several other projects, including Sinkcharmer, Che Guevara T-Shirt (huh?), and Architrave. And of course, that’s what earns you points when it comes to this survey. You gotta make yourself known, see? Get yourself out there. Join a hundred bands! Make friends with cool people! Play synthesizers and indie rock and dance and disco and darkwave and never play the same place twice! That’s how Haley Moley keeps doing it, and that’s how you can too! That and they’re incredibly talented, write really cool unique songs, and are constantly active artistically (yeah, sorry, the whole ‘learn 3 chords and go out and rock’ does not incredible bands often make). Must never be a dull moment when you’re in this band.  And as soon as there is, chances are a new song that features diverse genres and the defining in-depth, soft and dark alto vocals of lead singer Jennifer Coleman as well as often 2 or 3 other members of the band will soon emerge to challenge and bemuse you!

5. Thinner Friends

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This trio of super hip scenesters Madeline Darby, Gary Ziroli, and Shane Sanchez just recently came upon the scene. But apparently they’ve been blowing everyone away with the eclectic combination of their diverse styles brought seamlessly together. Like I said, scene points, amirite? Actually, I’m not. Truth is that the individual idiosyncratic musical appetites this trio brings together with deference not only to the Gestalt but to each other’s style and the intricate yet fluid sharing of the spotlight makes for a semblance of signal to noise ratios that given the electronic flow charts in seemingly new forms of measurements equals INTENSE ROCK AND AUDIENCE STUPEFACTION! Yeah, seriously. Go see this group if you get a chance. You will NOT be sorry. Sounds like nothing else.

4. Architrave

facebook_1580414568526A stripped down version of Haley Moley or an additive version of Sinkcharmer?  One can’t help but be reminded of those two acts considering that Architrave is composed of husband and wife superlative musical team Paul and Jen Coleman. Yup. More scene points! These kids and the super dark kids take them all, I swear. Building on the sounds that made Sinkcharmer a huge local star within a year of his bursting on the scene, Architrave continues in the less band is more electronic noise and danceable vibe of an inimitable stable of vocals with depth and mystique and electronic devices.  The setup is intimidating, the electronics on time and ultra clear, the sounds entrancing and mesmerizing… and this is just a recently inspired collaborative project from these prolific writer/performers still in development!

3. Mr. Cancelled

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Thanks solely and completely to our promotional efforts, Mr. Cancelled has surged up the chart this year 4 positions to number 3! Well that and their recently released album awesome album Every Town Has Its Dolls, constant performances, and of course association with the cool superdark scene. It’s true that everytime you see these guys (especially self described ‘old guy’ frontman Gary Ziroli), they’re playing their hearts out and having fun. Bringing a mix of pop punk, noise, and innately constructed melodies and lyrics that anyone with any taste can sing along to, Mr. Cancelled rocks the local scene like a cooked turkey on fire falling off an airplane with a soda for screaming into!

2. Blood Blood Blood

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Oddly enough, in addition to Mr. Cancelled above, Blood Blood Blood (which shares members with Mr. Cancelled) is one of the few groups to really climb up the chart from last year. Once it was revealed that they were, in fact, the Olson twins, a large amount of unwanted notoriety and popularity faced them everywhere they went. Which honestly is quite impressive for a darkwave industrial death-lectronic group. There aren’t many towns where electronic groups with horror inspired lyrics over gothic almost gloomcore synths and distorted beats are known and loved above nearly all other original local acts. Probably says something about our area. Something, dare I say… Super Dark?!!

1. White Devil and the 666

a2755740404_16Anyone who saw White Devil (aka E.S. Cormac of the Hill Haints) the first time he played solo at Pauly’s Hotel knew he was gonna turn the entire local scene upside down! And the addition of the 666 (aka Black Jack Cassidy of Moon Worship and Kevin Johnston of Sisterhood of Sleep) brought this insane blues duo from outer space (and Texas) to the pinnacle of dark and frighteningly entertaining performance art in the Capital District. And based on their increasingly confident and wild performances of down home authentic way-down-in-the-delta blues (from Albany, Schenectady and Troy, the fertile delta of authentic imitation insane bluesbilly jams), we’re guessing they’re gonna be around to level this town until it can’t take no more. Congratulations, WHITE DEVIL AND THE 666 (you’re just gonna have to imagine a bunch of reverb and that guy that says ‘SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY’s voice saying this in your head since we haven’t figured out how to embed sound files yet)!  YOU KICKED ALL OUR ASSES!!!!

 

Runners Up (all the terribly great groups that didn’t make the collective top ten but were loved enough to be part of somebody’s top ten):

Pony in the Pancake Candy Ambulance belle skinner burly Laveda Mystery Girl Steve Hammond and his rabid children Che Guevara T-Shirt Hill Haints jagaloons Madeline Darby Motorbike pencildive Scum Couch Sinkcharmer Bear Grass Chief Comrade Nixon Home Body Safety Meeting Bare Mattress Bruiser and Bicycle Brule Country Bad Boys Coal Palace Kings dark honey dirt church dryer electric turtle fine grain Geoff Gorden goat sausage Haunted Cat kid vicious Leap the Dips Mountain Carol no more death stars Onlyness prince daddy and the hyena Slaughterhouse Chorus the machine Ugly Muppets Wet Specimens a judgemental swarm of bees ampevene andrew mirabile another michael avenue a bad mothers bendt born dying buried alive burnt hills Chloroform Party chris neuman cindy cane Fat Poodle Fossergrim fringe history frozen heads Fucking Christ Galene Gay Tastee Girl Blue Girth Control Greens Horse Apples Joan Kelsey’s Silver Lining Johnny Booth Lemon of Choice Lone PhoneBooth Male Patterns Matt Griffin Band Neighborhood of make believe Nickopotomus Parashi Pink Nois Postage Project Kate Ramblers Home Rambutan Scavengers Senior Living Sisterhood of Sleep Spirt of Violence stellar young the erotics the non-compliants the sea the sea thinking Tiki Bats Tom Atkins useless cans vice grip Zan & the Winter Folk Zeffler grabass cowboys blue ranger paradisa wove ciarra fragale corry loveday drank the gold tambourelli and her supertrips Dead Tooth Hasty Page Moribund Muzzle Lords NXNES Rechorduroys

Requiem for the 2000 teens. The end?

So here it is. The end of an era. Some have called it the golden era. Others have said it was a bunch of shit. Some old asshole said this shit stank way worse than the shit that came before it, which was much less stinky than the shit that came before it, which was the stinkiest most terrible shit of all (the eighties. no wait, the seventies? how far back did we go there?).

We’ve just been notified that a lot of shit’s about to go down before the new decade begins. Bands are breaking up, clubs are closing down, shit’s being flushed. But new bands are forming, new clubs opening, old closed shitholes are rebranding themselves, hiring new booking agents, younger, weirder bartenders, with even more shockingly disgusting hair and facial accessories…

Before that happens though, we’d just like to take a moment to lament the past. There were great moments, some great music, some great shows and great friends. But there was a lot of shit too. Like your band. Face it dude, you guys sucked.

And well, of course, we must take our share of the blame. We could’ve been funnier. Like, a lot funnier. I mean, we were barely funny at all! People just came here to see their band mentioned. Then they shared it on facebook and pretended it was funny so people would read about their band. And then maybe their friend’s band. And then their collective of bands or music or shows or scenes or what the fuck ever. It was so fucking funny. We laughed so fucking hard…

But today we’re not laughing. Because the joke was on us; the real laughs people got were at our expense. Like; ‘how could this be that much less funny then Hard Times all the time? They’ve got to at least make one or two jokes that make me chuckle. And they just say weirder and stupider shit all the time, getting worse and worse! What the fuck? It’s just that bad it’s funny as fuck dude. You gotta read this shit.’

And so, as we admit to ourselves that we’re about as funny as fucking Mormons, we will finally be signing over our site to the local chapter of the Biden for President group of sites. That’s right. Joe Biden; he’s, um… he’s not so bad. Once you don’t see him or hear him speak for a while… He’s, uh, got some entertainment value…

NO! It’s not true! Donald Trump is a huge piece of shit, but he’s comedy gold! We will not let his reign end, lest we all die of boredom and contentedness and, um, everything in the world going better!! Chaos is way more fun!

And we’re gonna write some funny stories about bands you’ve really never heard of! Bands that have never played out, and never will! And you’re gonna read about them and say, what the fuck?! I’m in that band! I have to share this with my friends!

And in the 20s, we’re gonna use that anti-comedy formula to get mentioned over and over until people BELIEVE that we’re funny! It’s like all the music on the radio; it’s fucking garbage! But all the kids are listening to it, just like they always have, and somehow they’ve convinced themselves that shit is gold! And we can do it too! We just need you to believe in us! Well, not that actually. We need you to share our stories! We need the hype! We need to spread the shit all over the walls, all over the facebook, and all over the internet! And that’s how the 20s are gonna be! A con man’s paradise of cons! The one that will never end!

Phew. For a second there I thought we were actually gonna have to write about how great Biden is. Turns out we can just keep shitting where we eat, because, hell, we don’t make any money anyway. And we don’t run on views, we don’t exist based on popularity, we do and say whatever the fuck we want, and you either slurp it up or stop reading and it doesn’t make any difference at all to anyone anyway.

And you can expect us to continue not to matter in the next decade. Though our bands break up and our clubs fall down, we’ll make new bands and play sheltered under new awnings that have yet to collapse. Though our scene falls apart from infighting and people that stop fucking and start telling each other to kill themselves or brag about how much better their new lovers are, we will love again! Though people say we’re not as funny as we were and even then we always sucked, we shall suck again!

We’re looking forward to the 2020s and all the new music and noise it’ll bring. We hope you’ll join us. But if not, go fuck yourselves. Seriously. Times Boredom without end!

Under their masks, Blood Blood Blood are actually the Olsen Twins!

That’s right, you heard it here first!  The reason Troy experimental electronic noise duo Blood Blood Blood wear masks is to hide their true identities.

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“We’d already conquered tv, movies, fashion design, and perfume lines, so we wanted to move into music.”  says Ashley Kate Olsen

“Right, but we wanted to prove we could make it without just using our celebrity this time.  So we chose a really underground genre in a really unheard of place in Upstate New York to kickstart our career!” pipes in Mary Kate.  Or Michelle.  Whatever I don’t know their names.

There’s further evidence that the twins, initially made famous by 4th wall breaking meta documentary television program Full House, have been thinking about this project for some time now.  We’ve uncovered alternate titles and covers for several of their films:

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When asked if they would continue covering their true identities in their experimental noise duo, recently expanding from the Capital Region to New York City, they both emphatically stated:

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Let me tell you about the Legend of the White Devil and the 666…

sko“Y’all don’t know shit about shit!”  screams cantankerous old local music cranky pants DJ Think Noise when asked about White Devil and the 666.  “So allow me to school your kindergarten asses.  Gather round children!”

“Legend has it that late one night, E.S. Cormac (of Hill Haints) and Black Jack Cassidy
(Sisterhood of Sleep, Moon Worship, Bone Parade) were barrelling down the Northway
blasting Jon Spencer Blues Explosion at full volume. Ed shouted to Jack; ‘we should do
something like this! You know, raw, bluesy, loose!’ and Jack shouts back ‘hell yeah.
But EVVVILLL!!!!’

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“…and smack! Some methed up driver in a Dragula’ (some say Satan hisself!  Others just say Rob Zombie) smashes into their car and A FIREBALL OF HELLFIRE AND SULFUR LIT UP THE NIIGGGHHYIII–YIIGHYT!

“Ah shit, where was I?  Got caught up in my own shtick…

“Oh yeah… the remains of E.S. and Black Jack weren’t found that night. Sometimes, when something so terrible, so evil, so rock and roll happens, dooders spirits can not cross over to hell where they belong, but they must live out eternity in hellfire inspired blues and rhythm!

“And so, E.S. and Black Jack were born again in blues and hellfire as WHITE DEVIL AND THE 666!

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“Ever since that night, they’ve been exacting their revenge on anyone that’ll listen to their musty brand of raw, loose blues and pounding noise all over the Capital Region.

“And the Facebook has it that on Thursday night, they begin the Saratoga to Albany gauntlet again! Thursday at Desperate Annie’s and Friday night at the Low Beat, which will force the Double Dealin’ Demon Duo to trod once more that Haunted Highway that gave birth to their FIRE AND FURY in the first place!

“What will happen in the meantime? Will they meet up with the mysterious methhead stranger that killed them and make a deal for their souls? Will they rock him back to HELL!!!!??? I, for one, cannot wait to find out.  So git yr asses out to these shows or goddammit, you won’t know nothin bout Legends of local BLUES AND ROCK and you still won’t know shit about shit!”

Today is Mr. Cancelled Day

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We hereby declare April 19th Mr. Cancelled day!  I don’t think it’s anything else, and we have an interview and a review of their new album!  Well yeah my boss is like ‘I am Dave!  Do vat I say!  You vill die here!’  He’s such an asshole.  Dammit Phil look what you made me write!  But seriously we’re gonna celebrate by playing their new ep ‘Every Town Has its Dolls’ all day long here on Times Boredom radio and, um, ahh read the fuckin articles if you wanna laugh.  We promise lead singer Gary’s way funnier than we are.

 

Haley Moley fat shamed me!

After enjoying Haley Moley’s set at Superdark Thursday (see video below), I was so impressed that I just had to buy a t-shirt!

Haley Moley performing their song ‘Parallel Executions’

However, when I approached lead singer/synth player Jennifer Maher Coleman to inquire whether they had a size triple XL shirt for a portly gentlemen such as myself, she indicated that they didn’t have anything that big. And if that wasn’t bad enough, guitar player and backing vocalist (also of super solo project Sinkcharmer) Paul Coleman indicated that a large would definitely fit me, since it fit him.  As if I could somehow squeeze into the gear that these active rockstars seen above were dancing around in while playing their instruments!

Feeling bloated and alone, I walked to another merch table at the show to ask if I could purchase a triple XL Super Dark shirt, but was met with the a similar response.

Listen up you fat shaming rockstars and skinny scenesters, just because you’re in great shape and are fit from rocking and dancing on stage doesn’t mean that all of your fans are!

But it’s not all bad news.  Super dark took pity on me and gave me a copy of the new Mr. Cancelled record, one size fits all!  And it’s awesome!  The music makes me feel better.

So if you see yr fat pal Mr. Koenig at the next Super Dark show, tell him to put down the pizza and beer, and buy him a Haley Moley or Mr. Cancelled album instead (and get yourself one while you’re at it).  Someday with the right support and the super awesome local music to dance to I just know I’ll be able to fit into one of the available t-shirt sizes!