After enjoying Haley Moley’s set at Superdark Thursday (see video below), I was so impressed that I just had to buy a t-shirt!

Haley Moley performing their song ‘Parallel Executions’

However, when I approached lead singer/synth player Jennifer Maher Coleman to inquire whether they had a size triple XL shirt for a portly gentlemen such as myself, she indicated that they didn’t have anything that big. And if that wasn’t bad enough, guitar player and backing vocalist (also of super solo project Sinkcharmer) Paul Coleman indicated that a large would definitely fit me, since it fit him.  As if I could somehow squeeze into the gear that these active rockstars seen above were dancing around in while playing their instruments!

Feeling bloated and alone, I walked to another merch table at the show to ask if I could purchase a triple XL Super Dark shirt, but was met with the a similar response.

Listen up you fat shaming rockstars and skinny scenesters, just because you’re in great shape and are fit from rocking and dancing on stage doesn’t mean that all of your fans are!

But it’s not all bad news.  Super dark took pity on me and gave me a copy of the new Mr. Cancelled record, one size fits all!  And it’s awesome!  The music makes me feel better.

So if you see yr fat pal Mr. Koenig at the next Super Dark show, tell him to put down the pizza and beer, and buy him a Haley Moley or Mr. Cancelled album instead (and get yourself one while you’re at it).  Someday with the right support and the super awesome local music to dance to I just know I’ll be able to fit into one of the available t-shirt sizes!