We’ve been messing with you for a long time now and we want to apologize. We do not have huge corporate offices in downtown Albany and a staff of hundreds. We don’t even have enough money to pay our writers. Whether or not we write or publish articles is actually dependent on how much of our actual jobs we have to do, how much Fucking Christ band practice we have to go to, emptying the cat box, etc.
Therefore we will not, as we intended and asserted to many, be able to publish our ‘best of 2018’ article just yet. But watch the site and the facebooks, cause it’s coming. We will get it to you. We swear on the vast profits that Times Boredom receives from your viewership subscriptions and ad revenue every year. We appreciate your patience and apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you or your loved ones.
THE ENORMOUSLY WEALTHY WELL PAID STAFF AND CORPORATE OFFICE DWELLERS OF TIMES BOREDOM
Yet another local music publication is closing its doors. So long, All Over Albany…
In other news, we just heard the Low Beat is for sale too. WTF?! Local music is coming apart at the seams…
Following the shutdown of the Alt in September, that leaves only terrible little bullshit sites like our own to cover the entire local music scene in the Capital District. We are so sorry. We swear it’s not our fault.
But now that we think of it, we’re pretty much all you’ve got left now, unless you wanna read the crappy arts section of the local news publications that ‘don’t know shit about shit’! So suck it up and read our drivel! MUWAH HA HAH HA HA! WE’RE THE ONLY TASTE MAKERS NOW! WE CAN MAKE OR BREAK YOUR BAND! GIVE US FREE PASSES TO YOUR SHOWS! BUY US BEERS! SEND US SEXY MEN AND WOMEN! OR ELSE!
Seriously, we mourn the loss of another great local music/events source and look forward to abusing our newfound power.
We recently criticized Times Union’s (you can find the article here) publishing and calling attention to yet another conservative, anti-Union, anti-state worker, anti-labor group’s biased studies and failing to at least publish any ‘liberal’ groups’ (such as NYPIRG) policy papers as well.
Here’s their tepid response:
Liz Moran joins NYPIRG
Seriously? You think we’ll be mollified that you’re reporting about a specific person joining NYPIRG instead of you actually even publishing one of their position papers, much less a ‘fair and balanced’ position paper that responds to the claims you’ve been publishing over the years that denigrates state workers’ abilities, says they get paid too much, that they’re the reason the state will go bankrupt (ok we took liberties with that last one, but we’re a real fake news organization. We’re allowed.)?
Get a clue Times Union. You suck.
Oh Times Union, why do you continue to be the mouthpiece of terrible conservative anti-Union anti-job anti-stateworker rights organizations like the ‘Citizens Budget Commission’?
If we were real journalists we might actually uncover how your owners or boards of directors were on or contributed to these awful organizations, which are the ones you increasingly help to publish the biased findings of (when was the last time you showed a NYPIRG study about the costs of not covering benefits or a CSEA article noting how little the majority of state workers actually make?). You’re very lucky we’re not, but then again you did fire all your real journalists several years ago when you got rid of your own Union. At least change your title; the irony of the fact that Union is the second part of your name is one of the reasons we just can’t stop criticizing your bafflingly unfair assessments and attacks against those that read your biased publication.
Bottom line is; why do you hate your audience? We’re certain a large percentage of your readers and subscribers are state workers. Yet you continue to publish pieces that denigrate them, say they make too much money, they’re bankrupting the government, etc.
They have signs! And it’s not even on the weekend!
We ain’t fuckin kidding…
Oh Times Union, we do this out of a sense of love; we just want you to be better!
This year’s Larkfest has a lineup of all local bands, however, none of them made our top ten super 17 list.
(fyi we have no idea who this guy is or what he has to do with larkfest, it’s just the stock photo from the larkfest site)
Therefore, we here at Times Boredom will be boycotting the festival in protest!
That and cause we’ve gone before and it’s usually pretty boring unless you’re day drinking. But then you get really tired and fall asleep late in the afternoon once the festival winds down, and then you wake up really cranky at like 2 AM Sunday morning, there’s nothing on tv… you feel kinda like that cool new Candy Ambulance video, you know? Meh.
Might not mind seeing Bendt though, since we’re kinda friends an all. Seriously, no, we’re not going! Totally reasonable serious significant political protest! We won’t go until a band from our top ten is on the bill! We’ll take this up with the BID — we’re gonna write a letter and make up signs and… Meh, who are we kidding? We’re just too lazy get up before noon on a Saturday and deal with the parking and blargh.
Seriously. We thought this was another fake news story ourselves, but sometimes truth is funnier than fiction:
Personally, whenever I’m at the rail station (I’ve never been and have lived in Albany all my life), I always wish there were a way to be magically transported to the Times Union Center (I’ve been there twice) and nowhere else! Like say, by using a car or a bus like a normal person in a normal small city. And I demand that it looks like fucking Disneyland! 25 million isn’t enough!
Also; isn’t it embarrassing that fake news sites like ours do a better job of spelling and punctuation than actual news sites? Just saying.