Terralite’s Prototype

Every good record should hold the elusive concept of the Yin and Yang; the soft and hard; the quiet and loud (or in this case, the loud and the LOUDER). 

Despite Terralite and Iudica’s (the band that singer/guitarist Brian Michael and drummer Nate Fidd were previously in) aversion to acoustic guitars, they do venture into more pop balladeering on their debut record as Terralite.

But then again perhaps it’s unfair to judge their work based on any previous effort under their previous Iudica label…

The band — bunch of local guys that are clearly serious about their music but also having fun!

But what is really different about Terrallite compared to Iudica? There was a different bass player, and now there’s another new one.

More significantly in terms of the overall sound, band dynamic, and potential dissociative identity disorder is new member Thom Grover, who is taking on increasing songs as the lead singer and songwriter. This as opposed to Brian Michael who clearly appears to be suited to be band leader, steering the ship unapologetically. 

While Grover’s voice is getting stronger, and his songs (if they are his creative babies completely) are showing more dynamics than Iudica songs, Brian Michael’s writing is still more confident and demands more control. 

While the majority of the songs on the record are good, and, more than ever before — groovy, the thing that stood out to me on the second and third listen through is that there is a slight split of personality happening throughout the record. This may be a Paul & John type thing where previously there was collaboration now the singer is the songwriter and never the twain shall meet; it’s like a mutiny aboard a ship where the crew are loyal but as with every enterprise new blood must flow. And a changing of the guards sometimes presses subtly but relentlessly, like a gigantic elephant in the room..

Yes, after my third listen, I wanted to say: this is a schizophrenic album.

Too late. 

I said it, but perhaps it isn’t entirely fair.

That’s right — they have their own OFFICIAL symbol/graphics!

There is some cohesiveness that runs throughout and hints of the embryonic glue that delicately justifies it as a complete album.

You could split the album in two and call it a double EP – but now we’re splitting hairs. 

Despite this tug and pull, the band has pulled something off that is a sign of more great things to come; they are still together and getting better.

I suggest catching them live too, they are a great live band now, but one of the highlights of the record is that it does their live sound justice. That’s not easy to capture.

There are also fewer drum rolls – thank god – but maybe that’s more of a sign of the increasing power and strength of the songwriting than the playing itself.

Michael, for one, has grown as a singer and is perhaps closer to knowing what he wants from music. There is more sophistication in the songwriting and the arrangements. There is more vulnerability in his voice, which is more honest in my opinion, after all, we are not gods.

‘Coming Out’ – here comes the single (I think).. I can definitley hear this one on an alternative rock station. 

(The angels of grunge are wondering where the syringes are).

They remain loyal to their dirty high school blues and mascara-ridden (yet no sign of bleeding black streaks, yet) emo, loud guitar-driven rock n roll.

They are certainly breaking out of their mould, and venturing into new territory (for them). It should make for an even more dynamic show. 

Having said all this, they are true hometown, USA, working-class rockers, and for that, I salute them!

-Terry Chagrin

Editor’s Note — This is a preview. Prototype will be released to the public on November 17th.

Sink Charmer’s Radical Luck

If you’re familiar with the current superhip Troy (or Albany or Saratoga where he hails closer to/from) music scene, you’ve heard of Sinkcharmer. Or if not Sinkcharmer, one of Paul Coleman’s other projects. Haley Moley, a band he formed with his wife Jen Maher Coleman and other local musicians Andrea Kosek (aka DJ Goldeedust) Pat Thorne, and Mike Broomhead (the latter two making up DJ Partyhorn). Or maybe Architrave, an already legendary danceable electronic post-punk duo he also formed with his wife Jen. OR any of the dozens of local production and engineering jobs he’s done for other local artists…

Point is, if you’re reading this, you probably know who Paul Coleman is and have heard Sinkcharmer. So we don’t need to describe him to you. But we’re gonna anyway (how else are we gonna write enough to fill up the 100 or so words neededd to fill up this space)?

To us Sinkcharmer’s a cross between late 70s/early 80s post-punk/dance/new wave and east coast 90s lo-fi/alternative artists. In fact, Sinkcharmer began all the way back in the late 90s in Boston. But he seems to have found his home and greatest fanbase here in the Capital District.

Back in 2017 Coleman released ‘Sit Up Straight’, a collection of terrific little sequenced pop gems. This was followed up with ‘vs. Reactor House’, a series of singles and comps. However, to date no full record has been released to as much fanfare as ‘Radical Luck’, an album so sought after by the local press that writers were contacting Coleman begging for pre-releases and interviews before he announced the release date.

Well, as you and I both know your pals at Times Boredom are the most ingenious damned hackers in the business and we bug everyone’s laptop that makes music here in the Capital District. So we didn’t ask. We took! And then, lazy bastards that we are, we just sat around listening to the album and enjoying it so much we didn’t get around to reviewing now, after he’s released it to the general public. So much for the hype.

But fuck do we love what we hear. More and more everytime we play it through. Like previous mentioned releases Coleman balances out electronic drum machines and sequencers with lo-fi nerdy pop vocals and signature postpunk guitar tones (i’ve heard he plays a tenor guitar and switches it to a bass with a pedal — also that he built his own guitar from spare parts he found at the junkyard and several processors he built the same way).

Just like all the great Sinkcharmer albums, what I love about this one is how it seamlessly blends proto-goth rock with lo-fi Lou Barlowesque melodies, post-modern instrumentation and sensibilities. The album begins with reverb laden hollow ringing chords that would fit perfectly on an early Cure album. And then begins the best song about the pandemic I’ve heard as of yet; comparing it to an event with biblical proportions (because when it comes down to it, we all potentially will do so in twenty years). However, unlike the actual flood story, this one doesn’t seem to have an end. We go inside the ark, than go outside, the light’s to bright, back into the Ark! Just like all the times we keep thinking this fucking thing is over.

Season Six Script Planning is a BRILLIANT song about the randomly exciting and terrifying events that are taking place in America right now. America’s treating itself as a television show that was on its way out, so in season 6 we go off the rails, hoping it’ll keep everyone’s attention. But instead it may (or may not) be an entertaining romp, but it’s real fucking life. Whoever’s in control needs to stop fucking around, poking all the bears, making them dance for the cameras because there are serious consequences that no one’s taking seriously but, rather, are just treating like some dumb tv show.

The remainder of the tracks follow similar patterns pitting new wave beats behind sullen post-goth sonic guitar fields and monotonal vocal patterns with catchy hooks. Chaotic Dreams and Dwell seem to almost be a dyad of personal torturous emotions, and represent a far darker more introspective side of Sinkcharmer. Kept and Terrible Protector (the latter of which was originally included on the world changing 518 Covid Comp), are tracks that most remind me of Sinkcharmer’s Dinosaur/Sebadoh tendencies. That mid to late period 90s indie rock vibe with the dance beats is if nothing else a fascinating juxtaposition. And they’re juxtaposed (interposed?) by Stochastic Reality, a highly danceable tune with Nine Inch Nails like descriptions of an eerie controlling invisible power that feeds our pleasure centers to get us to submit.

And then of course there’s the exception of course of the cover of Madeline Darby’s Innovation, which is a terrific take on what’s recently become a Troy scene electro-noise classic. And, as expected, Sinkcharmer like any good folk song preparer makes the song his own; I doubt that people that don’t know the track or read the notes will even know it’s a Darby penned song (though if you’re reading this you should and you should head to Madeline Darby’s bandcamp page after this!)

Sinkcharmer is pulling esoteric threads from four decades of underground music to combine the perfect ear candy for the indie fan in all of us. Thanks for another great album; keep it up!

RE Pivoting

So if you read our last article by now you know that it was a total bust. It turns out in order to have a podcast you need a recorder, technology, sound, etc. Which is way too much effort for a free site with a revolving cast of writers and non-writers that don’t get paid and therefore have very little incentive to do, well, ANYTHING they plain don’t want to.

So we’re pivoting back to good old fashioned 19th century text! That’s right, dancing about architecture again just like we did when you first fell in love with us!

That being said, we need inspiration… stuff to write about. And while we will probably go to some shows and write about them, when it comes to your personal music we really want it to be voluntary since we’ve been told we can be brutally, BRUTALLY honest when it comes to something we don’t like. So if you want a review on the coolest site in the tri-state area and you’re not afraid of a few (or a ton) of poison laced barbs… or if you’re a good sport like all our hall of famers on the link to the— left? my left? stage left… please submit any and all music to us at timesboredom@gmail.com!

And though we prefer supergreat local stuff, we will review ANYTHING we receive. So if you recorded yourself on your cell phone banging on a pot for 6 hours and you’re from New Mexico, we will unlike most commercial sites give it a genuine listen for at least 6 hours and probably 12 or 18. We’re into weird shit.

Submit everything you’ve got today! And if we really like you, we WILL probably request an interview and/or come to one of your shows.

From all your old pals here at Times Boredom, we thank you for reading this post. Seriously, if you even made it this far and have read up to here we really appreciate it given how terrible we are at consistently posting stuff, being a consistent publication about similar/related music, etc. We’re admittedly lazy fucks that don’t make any $$ of this so we just do whatever we feel like. And right now, we feel like listening to your crappy new band for hours and really give it a good, deep listen until we can’t take it anymore and have to write an article begging you to let us know why you sent us, much less made this pile of… what were you thinking?!

Send us an e-mail at Timesboredom@gmail.com, or message us on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/timesboredom!

Pivoting (?)

So it’s no secret that 99% of Times Boredom writers have been poached by Nippertown. Thanks a lot Nippertown for letting our writers know they could actually get paid to write about local music! Seriously though Nippertown.com is a great site and we do support what they do. But this place is a ghost town…

There are also rumors that the Phantom Man behind Times Boredom (Scott aka me) has fallen deathly ill and therefore will never post again. I’m posting this right now to dispel those rumors. Or am I? Ooooo — boo!

Nah that doesn’t make sense. Of course I am. Nobody else writes as incoherently as I do.

We’ve decided that, in order to revamp the Spirit of Times Boredom (also because I can’t/don’t want to do all the writing myself), we’re going to ‘pivot’ to a Times Boredom podcast! That’s right, instead of writing a bunch of wild stupid shit that makes US laugh (and sometimes you) AND recently increasingly writing a bunch of not so funny reviews of local music, we’re gonna have some fun and get weird with it.

So keep your eyes peeled for further announcements about the Times Boredom podcast, an auditory broadcast where local musicians, writers, media personalities, and scenesters get together to shoot the shit about local music and whatever else they might feel like shooting the shit about. With weekly guests!

Seriously y’all, this is gonna be fun! Stay tuned.

The ironically titled ‘No Fun’ bar and venue to change Troy, the Capital District, craft brews, art and culture in the world we know it forever!!!! And you can take that from your pal MC Think Noise, cause I know shit about shit!

Y’all don’t know shit about shit! So before the great and wise ancient scenester MC Think Noise here tells you about the greatest bar and venue that ever was or shall be, a little history lesson for you ungrateful ahistorical pretentious hipster twerps!  i was once like you… hey shutup you in the back! You think I can’t hear you?! I know what you’re saying and YOU. DON’T. KNOW. SHIT. So listen up!

A cultural/scene history lesson from ancient cranky pants anti-hipster MC Think Noise before the announcement you’ve all been waiting for… just kidding. Or are we? The only way to know for sure is to keep reading.

Now as a hardcore lefter than left of left Marxist, anti-Capitalist, anti-advertisement and anti-Fun self loathing petty-bourgeouis schpieler, I was flat out opposed to making this announcement. However;

  • I was told the name of the venue was gonna be ‘No Fun’. Course I’m an Iggy acolyte from way back in the day, I myself named the ‘No New York’ no wave comp, and am immune to irony in all its forms yet can appreciate it smarter than any of any of you!
  • They offered me free admission to all
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shows now and in the future!

And the final clincher for this old dog, a free sixer of my favorite, Nine Pin Cider from my current favorite Lark Street haunt Pint Sized. A couple of cans in and I didn’t even care when I remembered all the god damned super dark shows are free! To me and everyone else!

Seriously though. This is the coolest fucking news/surprise/secret I’ve ever been savvy too before any a you pricks! Now hand me another cider, and I’ll tell you about the coming of the ultimate bar/craft beer & cider/show space/diy art venue in downtown Troy; NO FUN!!!!!

My now and forever hero, August Rosa, owner of Pint Sized and the brave force that will bring us NO FUN!!!!

So let me start off by saying a few words about the hero of the new place, Sir August Rosa:

  • If he’d been the master composer and heavy shredding guitarist behind legendary Albany collective rock/emo pop punk band Aficionado, Dayenu.
  • If he’d opened a basement location in Albany to sell local and regional craft beers, ciders, and more, Dayenu.
  • If he’d taken that basement location to the heart of Center Square on Lark Street, filled it with taps and hundreds of delicious choices, made a great space to hang out AND a great venue for great shows, Dayenu.
  • If he’d built upon that success with a second location in Saratoga on Broadway, Dayenu.
  • And if you don’t fuckin know what ‘Dayenu’ means, shit son, what are they teaching you in that dumbshit school you got goin to? That’s from the Bible son! And I didn’t even go to college and highschool too! And look where it got me! Shit I lost my place. Where was I?

    Oh yeah,….
    And now, when you think he can give the Capital District no more cool shit, he gives us “too much too soon” and asks too little (that was a Buster Poindexter reference if you didn’t know ya little ignoranimus that dunnit know shit… who’s Buster Poindexeter? SEriously?!!! New York Dolls frontman Buster.. ah forget it) Now where was I?

    A new venue for Pint Sized in downtown Troy at 277 River Street where he’ll be bringing all the great craft brews to Troy where you can drink them in the bar or just pick up a growler or a case to enjoy at home. And a brand new awesome diy/performance and art space at 275 River Street right where it’s needed most, where all of us scene geeks and freaks, hipsters and art snobs, craft beer enthusiasts, and pretentious neck beard types can call our second home, called ‘No Fun’!

    Local booking/promoting/presenting/executive producer of all things experimentally illuminating yet ‘Super dark’, my man Shane Sanchez (the dude with his eyes crossed in)

    Most importantly, he’s partnering up with the likes of the super dudes from the Superdark collective; Shane Sanchez for his excellence in booking and promotions, and John Olander to build the coolest fucking sound system EVER while keeping it low key with a good sized stage and weird crazy art and media to decorate the coolest fucking hangpad EVER to make what we’re all expecting to be the best fucking club in downtown Troy or ANYWHERE EVER!!!!

    My pal Johnnyola. He told me about this Superman guy at the place… ah shit I shouldn’t of said that. I’m smart too not like they say… and I got passed over for my kid brother! Now say a hail Mary for the master of noise tech John Olander who will be building the sound system, stage, and mise en scene from fucking scratch!

    August, who already owns and operates 2 cool as that fucking cider I done already finished cause I’m a no-good old drunk that feels too damned much nostalgia for the old days that were so fucking great that there’s no way the future can possibly compete unless it’s in the heart of downtown Troy and run by 3 of the coolest people around… shit I forgot where I was going with this…

    Anyway, August told me personally that “People have always asked why we haven’t done a project in Troy. I’ve always wanted to bring Pint Sized to downtown and have looked at spaces on and around River Street as early as 2017. There is a lot going on in Troy and I never felt that a Pint Sized on its own would be enough with so many unique and innovative offerings to do in the area. The “No Fun” event space will be what really sets this project apart. I absolutely see a need for dedicated performance space in downtown. We look forward to being a part of Troy’s downtown scene.”

    And you KNOW your ole dog Think Noise couldn’t agree more. As a longtime Troy scenester, I’ve seen plenty of awesome venues come and go. My favorite by far was 51 3rd Street (a venue that most of y’all are too young to have witnessed the awesome powers and influence of), a real cool and weird square hole in the wall pad where RPI professors, students, and scenesters from around the Capital District could go to see great local shit like Denim and Diamonds, Complicated Shirt and Struction as well as national up and coming experimental performing acts like Fat Worm of Error, Dan Deacon, noise music royalty like Emil Beaulieu, and so many other great things I could list off that we’d be here all night… And then of course there was the likes of Artie’s many venues the last one that evenutally became the River Street Pub run by Vince Pellicano where the Super dark boys found their original home base in Troy. And then of course there were the legendary clubs and concert venues like the Hudson Duster, EmPAc, Revolution Hall and so many other cool and not so cool places to see shows that shut down or were the wrong place or size for the hip experimental noise and indie rock art house performances that Troy is famous for or the fantastic outdoor shows at Rare Form that for the past year have given us a way to see so many great superdark shows even in the midst of the Covid pandemic…

    But all that don’t mean shit, now that the setup, location, dedication, and fuckin yeah fucker spirits of everyone that’s gonna be working on the new Pint Sized location and ‘No Fun’ diy performance and art venue promises the beginning of a whole new era, a new paradigm, are you pickin up what Think Noise is puttin down?! If only they’d hire yours truly to be the house MC, they’d have it all!

    And your ole pal and drinking buddy gone dry and back again cannot fucking wait until the doors open and we rush in! To the end of quarantining and watching home performances of all my favorite local bands and performers and the beginning of a brand new era of endless craft brews, original live bands, and a public space where everyones welcome to hang out bear witness and be inspired and share in the nirvana in Troy of music, art, and every great collaborative thing in the Capital District but also those geniuses that do all that AND make it all possible like August Rosa, Shane Sanchez and John Olander.

    Do you remember Valentines? Upstate Artists Guild? Miss Mary’s art space?! These is all gonna just be distant memories that will only serve as footnotes to the story of the greatest venue ever begotten, NO FUN! Theys gonna be a mass exodus from Williamsburg, Green Point, Long Island City and all those other super concentrated hipsterdoms like Cleveland before Lester Bangs ruined it straight to the River Street area in downtown Troy once the Pint Size/No fun club opens up. And we gonna live upstairs and downstairs and next door, camp out on the front porch all lit up with kerosene and molly on planet k inside the in crowd out in the cold listening to the free music blasting over the whole fucking block and blowing us over into the gutters and crawl back to our beds so we can sleep enough to come back and do it all over again…

    Have you ever heard of CBGB’s? The Limelight? Lollapalooza? Woodstock?!!!! All just small steps building up to the coolest venue and greatest performances that ever were or shall be, NO FUN!!

    And now that you know some shit about some shit go forth and spread the word! (and of course if you want me to explain the legend of Brevator and how they made Daughters cry b/c they’d surpassed them in every way and Daughters got back at them by sabotaging their recording so no one’d ever know how fucking great they were I’m always around… hit me up man… I’ll probably be outside No Fun soon as it opens in like November maybe or I’ll just be hanging around there anyway…

    Yrs in rock y siempre, – MC THINK NOISE

    Fine Grain: the last long haired band that DOESNT play death metal

    “Who says just because we have long hair means we have to play a certain style of music?” asks Jake Dietrich, bass and vocals.

    “Well, no one. It’s just supposed to be a funny headline. It’s not even really you talking right now.”

    “What the fuck dude? You can’t just pretend you’re me for some joke that’s not even really funny in the first place!”

    Here they are, posed like Queen for some reason… also kinda like Live. Remember that band? Wtf did we ever see in them?

    “Yeah man, that’s pretty fucked up.” chimes in Zach Karpinski. “Wait, what did you say about ‘chiming’ there? I didn’t say anything! This is all you.”

    Despite the fact that the three guitarists/vocalists have beautiful long locks, the drummer has short hair. “Well yeah” says Kevin Bohen, lead guitar/background vocals; “drummers can have any hair they want. Haven’t you seen Spinal Tap?”

    “That shit would get in my eyes, get caught on the drum sticks, fuck up my playing. I mean, it doesn’t interfere with guitars, but drummers with long hair have a hard time. So fuck that” –Matt Hardin, drums.

    The band often makes use of their hair for comic effect. “Yeah, we do the whole headbanging in time thing, kinda like when we all raise our guitars together. You know, it’s that whole Molly Hatchet classic rock bullshit. We think it’s funny. And if you don’t… wait what am I saying, I thought I told you this isn’t even me” Zach interrupts; “No not Zach! It’s just you you asshole! I’m not saying any of this!”

    Despite their lack of agreeing to be interviewed by us because we didn’t ask (it’s funnier to us to put words into people’s mouths), Fine Grain is one of the if not THE best band currently terrorizing the Capital District. And definitely one of the best to come out in the past few years. The fact that they don’t take themselves too seriously means, hopefully, they’ll appreciate this article and not just kick my ass for posting this bullshit. Here’s a link to their latest video!

    -W. A. Wright

    Regarding the recent criticism of our critical reviews

    Times Boredom has been rightfully criticized for the past few months over the format of its reviews. The consensus is that all reviews contain far too much exposition (often taking 3 or 4 paragraphs to even begin to review the record) as well as adding far too many personal anecdotes and inside jokes that no one seems to understand.

    Therefore, as Editor In Chief, from now on I will be writing a foreword to every album review that contains both extraneous exposition and way more personal anecdotes and inside jokes. In addition, I may just ramble on about nothing in particular, so long as it has to do with music that is somehow related to the review in no other respect than that it is considered music.

    We don’t give a damn about our reputation. We work very hard to provide everything here to our readers completely free, and therefore believe we’re entitled to a little leeway in terms of how we do things here. We dance about architecture, and the artist (by which we mean the writer) is ALWAYS present and makes their presence KNOWN. Our apologies if this bores you; if you’ve read any of our other articles no doubt you’re aware that we are pretentious, artsy, old, and cantankerous. DJ THINK NOISE is not just a character to us. He embodies the spirit of our 5 year blog thingy. Also he’s my dad. Or my grandpa? My lineage is highly suspect ever since that situation in the steppes of Poland and Germany between the Himalayas and the Andes.

    That being said, I’m kidding. I won’t write pre-ambles to any review, however, I will encourage all of our writers to do so. Beware those of you that criticize the criticizers; we’re just the kind of ne’er do wells that will take that criticism as an invitation to make our prose even more unrecognizable and idiosyncratic, whether we lose readers or gain them (it’s all the same to our many advertisers that pay us gobs of money just to spiel our post-mersh bullshit all over the walls).

    If we were to defend ourselves, we’d begin by noting that very few, if any, of us are professional writers or ever have been. Our Chief Editor failed remedial english twice as a result of only reading byzantinely worded academic books from the 19th century and refusing the F. Scott Fitzgerald or Hemingway they were assigned. So writing, forthwith and the latter forgiving the alder, about Freud’s ignorance of the work of Piaget was judged to be autism in need of training if ever the student was able to communicate adequately through composition. I’m certain most of our other writers faced similar resistance to their non-conformist styles of putting words together to convey the inexpressible things they felt instead of words they were supposed to write as practice and demonstration of the ability to conform. (how pretentious).

    Thanks again for reading. We welcome all comments and submissions. Just remember, if we don’t like your album, we may get so hung up on an aside about an artist that influenced you we may not say anything negative at all and have been working on this so long that we just click ‘publish’ bc we’re tired of working so hard without remuneration.

    Send all recordings to timesboredom@gmail.com and we’ll put them on our shitlist of stuff to get to but fuck up and piss off the people we’re seeking to flatter. Stay tuned for a bunch more reviews, including the new record from Maggot Brain, Lone Phone Booth, and Asa Morris!

    yr pal,
    Scott Koenig, Editor In Chief, Times Boredom media and merchandising (buy our new wind up DJ THINK NOISE — says “you don’t know shit about shit!” over and over until its battery runs out!)

    Interview with ‘New Wave Power Couple’ Paul and Jennifer Maher Coleman of Architrave

    I (Kasrael) recently sat down 100 miles away from Paul and Jennifer Maher Coleman of Architrave and instant messaged an interview to/with them on the heels of the release of their recent powerhouse recording that has made the Quarantine much easier to get through for all of those fortunate enough to have a copy of the album. ‘This Perfect Day’ has been receiving rave reviews from both local and national zines, blogs, and even old fashioned newspapers.  In fact, there’s been so much praise that there would be nothing I could write that hasn’t been written way better by a dozen other professionals unlike myself.   And it’s so fucking hip the beautiful cover of the album is a photograph by famous local scenester Gary Ziroli of Mr. Cancelled, Thinner Friends, and honestly, the best photos I’ve ever seen that he just posts on Facebook for free (he even said I could use some for my band Fucking Christ’s album covers)!

    Suffice it to say, this album fucking rules.  And there’s nothing profound or even well written I could say about it that hasn’t already been said.  However, given my personal relationship with the Colemans due to my previous employment as their gardener (before they found out that giving me 20$ to mow their lawn would only make me go to Stewarts and buy tall boys and scratchers — i don’t even have hedge clippers much less a lawn mower!), I was able, unlike those ‘professionals’, to score an interview.  And here it is (and I really think I should mention what terrific sports they were no matter how dickish I got);

    archpplKasrael Sonin (TB): does architrave wanna do an interview for times Boredom

    Paul: Sure! But Jen is our authorized media representative (I shouldn’t be allowed to talk).  You can put that in your article.

    TB: I’m sorry are you the funny guy? no, I am.  And I think TB’s 7 readers might agree with me there. I decide what goes in.

    Paul: See. I shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

    TB: Ok before we get started I should warn you that this is my first interview for Times Boredom or, ever. I’ve been told that I’m surly, sarcastic, off topic, and I personally offend everyone I’ve ever spoken with. Unfortunately you’re stuck with me because the entire remainder of the Times Boredom staff is sick with genital warts. Especially Scott. His bleeding warts are the size of cockroaches. It’s disgusting and I wish he hadn’t described it to me in great detail. If you want to know more about it please ask.

    Jennifer: no paul no!

    TB: Ok then! First off, I hear that you’ve recently released a new album that’s getting rave reviews in the local press. Why?

    Paul: Please note that I was typing, but Jen stopped me.

    TB: It will be noted.  That and that you’re both taking twenty minutes to answer this question because you’re trying very hard to come up with a clever answer.

    Paul: Nah. I’m just sitting here eating carrots.

    Jennifer: Honestly I think people are looking for content right now, looking for things to write about if they’re writers. I happened to send them the album with the suggestion that they check it out and I bet they had time to do so. (but it’s also a pretty good album)

    TB: I also understand that you recently did a covid-19 alonecast from somewhere inside your house.

    Jennifer: If only we had thought to call it that

    Paul: Alone together….we are what they call a “pod”

    TB: Did that raise the troops spirits or did they just yell at you to get off the podcast and bring on the barenaked ladies?

    Paul: We did have a lot of confusion about who was “Shane” in our comment stream.  Also Barenaked Ladies suck.

    TB: Are you referring to Super Dark fudge pirate Shane?

    Paul: YES!

    TB: Also you like shitty music so you have no right to judge the super ground breaking Canadian powerhouse that STILL IS BNL.

    Jen: I thought you were referring to our kids… when I realized that they weren’t willing to dance in the background we just made sure they wouldn’t be home. They did a killer kid’s album

    91175560_3769245263148662_7205005426578948096_oTB: Speaking of dancing, do you consider yourself a dance group or a ‘white dance group’?

    Paul: I don’t really dance…that’s Jen’s territory

    Jen: guilty of being white and dancing I guess!

    Paul: I’m playing Candy Crush right now and I know that makes me something.

    (Note: Paul sucks at Candy Crush.  I am several hundred levels above him even though I keep giving him free lives and chocolate bombs and stuff)

    TB: Well then are you electro-clash or dark wave?

    Jen: A 10 year old girl

    TB: Trip hop or jungle?

    JEn: we’re using dark-wave this week

    TB: Proto sludge or powerviolence?

    Jen: oooh!

    TB: Ambient disco or smooth urban jazz? Quit stalling and answer the question!

    Paul: Black Twee

    Jen: vaporstep

    TB: I’m gonna go with vaporstep, because ive heard of dubstep. People at work used to call me idub because i hated dubstep so much.

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    Jen: were people playing alot of dubstep at your workplace?  that’s harrassment

    TB: I’ll ask the questions here m’am.  Which brings me to my next question, which is meant more for Paul. How do you make such decent music when you like indie landfill such as Kurt Vile and um, that other girl I hate that did an album with her… what’s her name??

    Paul: MAGIC

    TB: Parquet courts?

    Paul: Yep. I do like them.  I definitely have a thing for repetitive.

    Jen: in the case of Architrave, because I’m bossing him around

    TB: That does answer a lot Jen, but honestly, when you’re the head of the Vampire Weekend fan club as Paul has been for three non-consecutive terms, it’s a wonder he knows what a guitar is at all…    Real estate?

    Paul: Eh. On Real Estate

    TB: Thank god. at least you have some boundaries, as far into the landfill as they are.

    Paul: I like the first Vampire Weekend a bunch, but mostly because the production is crisp and not terribly “produced”.  Beyond that… eh.

    TB: Paul, please stop admitting to liking terrible, awful, garbage music. It’s not helping.

    Jen: We’re both Genesis superfans since childhood, how do you feel about that

    TB: Well, I thought that you couldn’t embarass yourself more than Paul already has, but admitting to that…

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    Jen: When you get to be my age it’s pretty hard to embarrass

    TB: Yeah, well, you should be embarassed.  I mean I love Jethro Tull but I’d never tell anyone. EVER.

    Jen: Oops…

    TB: And it’s not like Ian Anderson became a popstar.  Goddamn gimme some of that classic rock and roll on one leg with a flute in both hands pointed upward!

    Paul: My cousin is named Ian Anderson

    TB: No photos please. I’ll have to upload that and name it and it’ll be a whole thing.


    TB: So how white are you two? Do you have any ethnicity among you?

    Jen: Is Dutch or Irish ethnic?


    Jen: Just… white

    TB: Wow. That’s about as ethnic as white bread with the crusts cut off.

    Paul: The dutch like to cut off their crusts

    TB: Do you think it’s wrong for white people to make dance music?  Let me rephrase: do you think it’s wrong for me to dance to your music?

    Paul: Wait for it

    Jen: my 23 and me revealed a touch of Ashkenazi jewish I guess

    TB: Well that makes a lot of sense. We all know how famous Jewish people are for their ability to dance.  Maybe we could hold you up in a chair or something.

    Jen: Will you dance in the background of our next livestream please?  Our kids won’t do it.

    TB: Only if you think I can dance. Because, you know, I don’t think I can dance, being an Ashkenazi Jew and all.  Can my dog dance instead?  She can high five and roll over.

    Jen: that counts, she’s in

    TB: Speaking of white bread, you’re currently based out of Ballston Spa. Why the fuck would you live there?

    Jen: I have no idea how i got here

    Paul: I do for me, but it involves my ex and Skidmore College.

    TB: Are either of you originally from someplace even remotely interesting?

    Jen: Chicago, New Jersey, Minnesota

    Paul: Latham! ! ! The original Capital District Circle!!!!


    TB: I’m gonna go with Jersey, because it’s the most interesting thing you’ve said all night.

    Jen: I came to albany for grad school

    TB: So why on earth did you stay?  If you had any interest in making music that is…

    Jen: I started DJing here and got entrenched.  There was a great scene back then for dance music

    Paul: Well…I left and lived in Boston for years…came back because of family stuff.

    TB: The only electronic dance group I can think of from here that ‘made it’, as in, they do interviews where they constantly name drop ‘miley cyrus’, and they’re pretentious twats is Charlie Everyone.  Why do you hate Phantogram so much?

    Paul: They refuse to introduce us to Miley.

    TB: Can I have some of your apple bread?

    Jen: All mine (because coronavirus)

    Paul: This is slowly turning into an Narduwar interview

    Jen: do you have presents for us??

    TB: Would you like to mention your sponsor?

    Paul: Superdark? My day job?

    Jen: Rebel Reserve

    Paul: Jen likes this shitty bourbon I once got. It burns.

    TB: I was told you had a 30 second spot about something you were getting paid to promote.

    Paul: Haha. We just got “commissioned” to sing happy birthday to someone’s mom.

    TB: Please don’t tell people about what I paid you to do to my mom.  You’re crossing the line of journalistic integrity…

    Paul: Judgment free zone here

    TB: Yeah well Robert Smith called and he wants his early recordings back.  And, um, New Order called and said, cheer up!

    Paul: Hahaha….funny you say that.  We’re working up a cover of Procession right now

    TB: We’re getting near the end here so I must remember to ask this all important question; if you had to, how many donuts do you think you could eat in an hour withOUT throwing up or getting diarrhea?  And I’m not talking like good fresh cider donuts or anything.  We’re talking three day old pink frosted Dunkin Donuts here.  Who btw the way is my sponsor.



    Paul: In my younger days, I could have managed about 17.  Now…it’s more like 5.

    TB: Finally, ‘Disco Girl’ was a great fucking song, probably your best IMO. How come none of the songs on the new album ‘This Perfect Day’ sound like Disco Girl?


    Paul: Jen can’t answer right now because her daughter has never heard the F word.

    TB: Which f word?

    Paul: Finally

    TB: So what are Architrave’s plans for the coming post-apocalyptic future?

    Paul: Box of donuts.

    TB: Jen, do you have anything to add?  Like hopefully apple bread?

    Jen: marketing plain identical jumpsuits.  Apple bread 4 ever.  we definitely have to make a song called Disco Girl now

    Paul: Dedicated to Kasrael.

    TB: And I will absolutely hold you to that.  Thank you so much for having me in your lovely Covid19 telecommute. I must warn you that this conversation will be reworked to make it look like I made all the funny jokes and yall praised Times Boredom endlessly. If you get sick you have to tell me and then I’ll have to tell all of our readers, hopefully before this interview goes out.

    Jen: thank you!  We LOVE Times Boredom!

    Paul: A true pleasure! You’re a hilarious guy Kasrael!  I wish you were my dad, and Times Boredom was my Great Uncle!

    This concludes our interview. Please stay tuned for your regular 2 or 3 bad movies that are available to stream on all 5 or 6 internet streaming platforms right now despite the fact that we need mindless entertainment now more than ever! If you’re looking for mindless entertainment, download a copy of Architrave’s new record here on bandcamp and dont forget to pay them tons of money.

    Now if you both could pretend to keep chatting with me as the sound goes off and the camera begins to pan away, it would look very natural.


    Our endorsement for worst band of 2019: Scum Couch

    We know that several of you (as many as 3) are eagerly awaiting this year’s worst local bands issue. However, since we are a non-commercial organization that doesn’t give a fuck what our gigantic audience wants and would rather just make fun of them and ourselves, before we release the results of what some of you (we’ve gotten about 40 so far) think, we’re going to be the assholes we are and endorse who WE want to win.

    Friends, Capital District scenesters, college kids and graduates who will only be here for a few years and then move back to the City or hipsters moving on to Portland, the truth is, our area doesn’t deserve Scum Couch. The readers of this particular super-hip avant-garde underground blog aside, our region’s ‘rock’ music (for lack of a better or newer term, since we generally deal in ‘bands’ that play ‘guitars’ and ‘drums’ or ‘synths’ and ‘drum machines’) is defined by 3 general categories; straight/traditional punk and hardcore (tough guy music), indie rock/pop (artsy hipsters and intellectuals), and minor league corporate rock wannabes (3 martini state workers and divorced/separated parents just looking for ‘fun after work!’).

    This publication seeks to speak to a shadowy (though increasingly large thanks to a couple of local promotion companies that shall remain nameless — just kidding SUPERDARK SHOUTOUT!!!!) 4th group that is generally ignored by larger publications that actually make money (unless they’re friends or relatives of the writers or somehow got their attention the one night their music critic actually went out to see new bands). This group is a melange of rock, noise, experimentalism, and in general, original, unique, eclectic music creators and appreciators.

    0005878990_10And that is where Scum Couch, for the past year in particular, has outshined those of us that thought we were the coolest underground noise makers. Mark O’Brien, the talented genius behind Scum Couch, has a way of blending the most effective parts of the past 40 years of noise rock, experimentalism, improvisation, straight noise music and most likely a bunch of really intellectual academic John Cage type stuff (that we really don’t know that much about and have never honestly listened to ourselves b/c we really like to listen to stuff like the Beatles and Nirvana too much and come on, we’re just being honest here…) into something that is often transcendent, always entertaining, and unique as fuck.

    Everything Scum Couch records, though seemingly often entirely improvisational (much like the so-called lo-fi genre) is completely filled with only the specific sounds that are called for, the instrumentation that’s necessary, and the harsh, sarcastic and cynical vocals and lyrics that are called for to be appreciated by the disaffected, bored, and restless underground of the day that only seems to be growing further and further from commercial pop, never to be joined again.

    Furthermore, Scum Couch completely disabuses any listener of the notion that anything it creates could ever be or is in any way seeking to be generally popular or saleable. Perhaps the most important barometer for those of us that genuinely appreciate left field experimental music is; could this ever be co-opted? Could this ‘music’ ever be in a car commercial?

    Unless our entire society undergoes a completely radical transformation soon, the answer is, for Scum Couch, a definitive no. No to commercial co-optation. No to traditional band structure. No to traditional rock music or instrumentation. No to narrative structure, no to ballads, no to anything resembling what’s been on the radio in the United States throughout its history.

    a1879794086_10And yet the talent behind the project is unmistakeable. So many artist/musicians try to achieve a similar sound or record like, say, 2016’s ‘Weak Existence’ without anything near the level of success. This is noise. This is music. This is dreadful. Unlistenable. Brilliant.

    a2255135405_10And if there were any question of O’Brien’s self awareness as a talented anti-artist, anti-musician, which is often the highest definition of high art and pretention, his 2018 recording is titled ‘Contrived’, and the previous release of 2017 was titled ‘Ignorant Bore’. Both brilliant pieces of noise collages and challenging instrumentation that titles itself in a self-deprecating manner, knowing that all art and whatsoever be it called ‘serendipitous’, ‘improvizational’, back to Surrealist ‘escritures automatique’, dada’s ‘Exquisite Corpse’, Impressionism’s ‘En Plein Air’..

    Dammit Georges you Pretentious frenchman get the fuck out of here!


    “Aww-hhah hah!  I weel not apologizais! I weell take ma baguette and go, but you weell hear from mois aussi!  Je mean again! Allons Eee!”

    The point we were trying to make before we started sounding so much like pretentious twats even we needed to put an end to it (and that we think Mark O’Brian was with his title) is that anything that is said to be arrived at naturally and without artifice is a total lie. Everything that is put on the canvass or the record is, definitively, CONTRIVED.

    And with that, we realize that this entire article has become overly pretentious in our effusive praise of the avant-garde sounds of Scum Couch TM. So much so that instead of the kind of deadpan tawdry humor this publication trades in, we’ve written what appear to be the liner notes next to a painting for a graduate project in art history or a very poorly written draft piece for an application for New York Times art section writer. We had another 20 paragraphs on conceptual art and musique concrete, but we really don’t honestly understand much of that shit and just like to rock out with a little pseudo-intellectualism and pretention.  Not too much.

    Yeah, we suck. And so does Scum Couch. So much so, that, if we had our druthers, they would win the ‘worst local band’ award for 2019. Because they’re so fucking good it’s like they come from a completely different world than the Capital District, a world where tough guy hardcore doesn’t compete with college radio friendly indie pop and pseudo corporate rock for after hours state workers and normal radio listening parents for the biggest slice of the tiny live music going audience.

    Scum Couch isn’t looking for our vote. Scum Couch earned it. Long may they offend our ears, our tastes, and our notions of what ‘music’ is and should be! Long may they show a new generation of Capital District underground noise artists the way forward, a way without interest in monetary remuneration, a way without looking to be big and pretentious on the scene by standing on stage and pretending to be better than everyone by just looking at them instead of making music, a way of making intelligent music not out of a desire get laid (because they don’t play football or make enough money to go to Republican fundraisers), a blah blah blah blah blah we love you Scum Couch! Don’t ever change!

    Hopefully next week we’ll put together the results of our actual survey for worst local band and you’ll be happy to see YOUR band or whatever band YOU voted for. But today is for our pick Scum Couch, because we hold you all in contempt, because you can’t appreciate what’s right in front of you! We hate you all so much!

    Just kidding. We love our audience! See you next week when hopefully you’ll actually read!

    FYI this was actually a very difficult decision to make. White Devil and the 666 and Blood Blood Blood were being heavily considered for our endorsement, however, we’re guessing they did better in the larger poll and therefore wouldn’t want or appreciate our lame personal endorsements.

    And now, each of our writer/editors would like to make a personal note of appreciation for Scum Couch;

    1cScott Koenig: We love you! Stay cool! Stay cool forever!

    skoDJ THINK NOISE: Nobody else knows shit about shit!  You make us old timers and our deep, torturous, forgettable local history proud!

    Monty Cantsin: Art! Pretention! Artifice! Noise! Rock! Whatever it is you do, we love it! Keep on doing it!

    Stephen Connick: Have a gr8 summer!

    Nenee Tartaulus: I just came back to get my stuff. What’s going on here?

    Anatoly Petronin: I do not vote for you. Sirsy forever!

    Georges Robert: I geeve you stinky french kisses! Aw-hah haa!

    Errr, just as a note we had to invent some writers and add some new ones because most of our other writers from more famous areas of the scene/bands didn’t want to contribute cause they, are, uh, mad at us for not writing about their band. Ok they’re mad at us for writing about their band too much. And not being funny.  And sending them messages on Facebook late at night when we’ve drunk too much about how cool they are and why can’t we be that cool and what kind of pickups does your guitars have and can we be friends IRL at the mall tomorrow…