Local death-a-billy band Moon Worship has earned a reputation for brutality due to their abrasive Swans-esque sound and sphinxlike Cramps-esque onstage personas. But nothing could be further from the truth offstage.

I recently caught up with my old friend Jason, drummer for the band.

“Hey Scott, how you doin old buddy?”

“Good! Nice to see you again.”

“Super! So, I really liked your recent article on Che Guevara T-Shirt…”

“Actually I didn’t write that one…”

“Shutup. So I noticed that that was around the night my band released a kickass record and had a huge record release party at the Low Beat, and you barely mentioned it…”

“Like I said, I didn’t write it. It was Caitlin from…”

“Duder, don’t give a shit. Listen asshole, my band is the shit, and you’re writing articles about two bit Unwound wanna bes? What the fuck?”

“Sorry JJ, it’s just that…”

“Just nothing! I kicked your skinny little ass all over junior high, and I’ma show you what real pain is now if you don’t do something to remedy this.”

“W-what do you want?”

“Ok, so one of 2 things is gonna happen. One is you write an article about my band, how great our new record is, how awesome our show was, mention my record label, what a nice bunch a chaps we are, yada yada.

Or 2, and remember i know where you live, I come to your house in the middle of the night. I inject you with a paralyzing agent, then I wake you so you can watch while I flay the skin off your arms. Next, I remove your arm bones and use them as fucking drum sticks. Am I clear?”

So like I said, Moon Worship, great band of super nice guys! Great new record Blood on Blonde available now on Raining Records! Super awesome record release show! Go see them and buy their album! Please!