The Times Union recently posted a story blaming New York States’ teachers for its many fiscal woes.

They based this story on a study conducted jointly by Satan and the Koch brothers’ research organization known as “Fuck the working and middle class and give us their money”.

“Our research found that there is no problem paying administrators like our friends Joe 1 million dollars to do absolutely nothing but harass hard working teachers.  In fact, our data-y statisticals convincingly proved everyone that actual teachers suck and get paid way too much and that’s why your taxes are so high.

We further proved by talking to our friend Joe in Administration that teachers statistically speaking are jerks and are ruining your children’s lives and you should pay those assholes less than minimum wage and me more (Joe, 2017). ”

Despite the sketchy background of the not for profit research organization that receives more in tax breaks than it costs to pay several thousand teachers, the Times Union saw fit to bolster their claims by posting an article with headlines concluding that their research was ‘truth’.

“Fuck the middle class and the working class and give us their money is a reputable research organization according to our CEO Joe.  Also, the Times Union would like to reinstate its opinions that all Unions everywhere are terrible and we’re glad we fired ours and any organization that still has a Union is scientificistally and researchably more expensive and kills your children (Joe, 2017). “