“I been e-mailing this punk kid Scott about his stupid blog, and tellin him how much shit he gets wrong.” says crotchety old scenester ‘DJ Think Noise’.

“So finally he asks for some background on this band he’s never heard of but likes called Burnt Hills, and I give that ignorant sumfabitch the real low down.”

“I first approached Jackson (Wingate) about forming a noise guitar supergroup nar twenty years back. This was after Paraquat Earth band broke up, and I says to him why don’t we form a band with these kids from The Wasted and Lincoln Money Shot and Jamboyz an other young whippersnappin noisemakers?

“Course I made the first seven inch Jackson released on Flipped Out Records (though back then bein a DJ was too avante garde), so Jackson says ‘yeah Think, let’s get this shit together and make history. We gonna be bigger than the Figgs!’ Then he cuts me out of the band, pretty soon he cuts the other guys out and keeps changing the lineup Built to Spill style. You ever heard of Built to Spill? Course not, long before your time.

“Point is, whole thing was my idea. And this little punk Scott, can’t be more ‘n 23-24, don’t know shit about shit even though he’s the one everyone’s reading. So I tell him, you let me tell it like it is. I’ll learn you know-nothing kids.”

When asked for comment, Burnt Hills band leader Jackson states; “I have no fucking clue who ‘DJ Think Noise’ is. Never heard of or seen this guy in my life.”

DJ Think Noise retorts by asserting: “I need a ride to the VA. My niece says she’s gonna stop by with some cigarettes and scratchoffs today. I think it’s my birthday.”