Exposed! Black Ships had promo photos done professionally at the mall


Times Boredom recently discovered that Post-New Wave band Black Ships’ band promo photos were taken at Glamour Studios in Crossgates Mall.

Glamour Studios photographer and fake French guy Aujourd Hui (possibly actually
German) indicated he thought the session was a complete success. “I am used to
doing ze highschool yearbook photos and maybe sometimes headshots for ze models, so I am unprepared. I zay; ‘you vant dirty mat ving style like movie star’? Dey zay ‘non!’. I zay ‘ah, you are ze pop stars. You want Bieber cut’? Dey zay ‘vay off! Non!’ I zay, ‘hmm…you are ze bad boys mit angry! You vant Marilyn Manson I vant fuck you like animal? Oui?’ Dey zay ‘Cloze enough.’

Lead singer John Gill didn’t deny it. “Well yeah, but Aujourd Hui did a great job.
We were wearing gas masks and got this cool abandoned tunnel background… It looked really cool and post-apocalyptic. So what’s the big deal that it was at the mall? I even got a free facebook profile shot out of it.”

Fans reacted angrily though. “I thought Aggressive Response was hardcore until
now. I’m pretty pissed about this.” noted local middle aged hardcore fan
xxStevexx. When informed, for the third time, we were talking about Black Ships,
he changed his opinion; “Oh, right. I saw those guys on a bill with Neutron Rats
once. They were really cool. Had kind of a Smiths/New Order thing going.”

The author would like to note here for the record that he’s still amazed at how
many hardcore purists like New Order. Why New Order? He surmises (and has proof) that inside every hardcore tough guy is a young white boy that just wants to boogie the night away to eighties dance pop music with his best gal.

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