Local pervert Scott Koenig recently saw his first Candy Ambulance show and was
impressed.

“I usually go to punk shows to ogle the 2 or 3 ladies there. But my friend Rob
said ‘there’s this band that’s been playing a bunch of shows where the lead singer
is a hot female!’.” Expecting to just lewdly stare, Scott was pleasantly
surprised; “believe it or not, despite the fact that she was hot, I was watching
the band! They were actually really good! I’ve gone to see them just for their
music several times since then. And I’m a little embarassed to say this, but the dudes in the band are pretty hot too…”

Caitlin Barker is no stranger to sexist objectification at her shows. “Being an
attractive woman onstage is definitely an asset for a struggling band, but it’s
also a good incentive for people to come see our band and appreciate our music. I
mean, what do you have with just a hot female lead singer and no decent
songwriting? Jefferson Airplane? They fuckin suck.” At this point Caitlin goes
off on a tangent; “Then of course there was Jefferson Starship which was even
worse, and then fucking Starship which was just wrinkly pop garbage. We Built This City is definitely a funny song, but it’s funny in a haha you’re band is really
stupid kind of way. And Grace Slick was barely even hot anymore at that point.
Lord knows how they kept having hits. Have you heard that song from Mannequin? Just a terrible, awful piece of crap band.”